Dark Times

Chapter Forty

I didn't fit in. I knew it. Trish knew it. Even the Luna knew it.

Her approval of what I was helped some, but nothing else did. She knew what I was. How she'd come to realise didn't comfort me at all. She knew my past. Maybe not all of it, but she had an understanding of it.

Things were starting to look risky.

When things started to get risky, I flew.

The Alpha still had that easy going smile when I returned to him. Trish was taking a breather after blabbering his ear off. I couldn't get the thought of them deserving each other out of my mind. I cared about them both more than I was willing to admit. I wanted Aidan for myself- hark now hear- but I wasn't going to fool myself into made up realities. I wasn't going to kid myself into thinking I was the ideal friend for someone like Trish when we could barely talk now without biting each other's heads off. I certainly wasn't going to kid myself into thinking I could be anything good to the Alpha.

I knew him. As much as it pained me to admit it, he wasn't just any old Alpha. He deserved something good. Something I probably couldn't give to him.

"Everything alright?"

"God," I groaned, pushing half-heartedly at his chest. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

He smirked down at me, casually dropping an arm over my shoulder. "Someone's in a bad mood."

Trish snorted. "You're kidding, right? She's always in a bad mood."

Too true. I wouldn't know what happiness was if it slapped me in the face.

I pulled at my collar again, wishing I'd gotten more of those water bottles. "I'm too hot."

"That you are."

"Not the time."

"Is it your heat?" Trish asked.

How does one go about pushing their mental breakdown into a few short words? Hmm, well- fine seemed like the ideal word, but I'd said fine too many times in the last two minutes for me to get away with saying it again and sound like I was actually fine.

"Probably."

"It'll be over soon, I promise," Aidan swore. "I'll sort it."

Of course he would. I cleared my throat. "Trish- give us a minute please."

"But-"

"One minute, Trish. Please."

She glared at me, though it lacked venom. "One minute. I'll be over there, I guess."

When she left, the Alpha took a step back to better see me. His hazel eyes were careful, running over me as if to check for injury. I was fine, physically. Inside, I was going through a crisis.

"Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yes. Everything's alright. Everything's fine." Dammit. "It's great. Perfect."

"You're very articulate with your words today."

"I've been practicing."

He hummed suggestively. "I could think of a better use for your mouth."

"I'm sure you could." I word vomited. "I care about you."

"What?"

Deep breaths. I had to get this out. It was now or never. Now, whilst I had the courage.

"There. I said it. I care about you, even though you're a dumbass Alpha and you ask stupid annoying questions. I care about you even though you suffocated me twice, and often suffocate me in your sleep. You're really heavy- so I guess it's not intentional. But it still counts. I care about you even though I hate everything you stand for and your nose pisses me off."