The Truth About Life

-Gabe: Chapter Eleven-

The sun is reflecting off the water of Clear Lake. The breeze is soft, I can hear Alexia and Joel shrieking and laughing as they build a rustic castle out of driftwood and moss.

Penny is quietly reading beside me with a soft smile on her lips. I love her, I'm grateful I have a second chance at love. I'm glad Penny and I have each other.

We first met, of all places, at her parents' house. I was delivering her father's updated will, and there she stood. Sleek blonde hair, big, expressive chocolate colored eyes. Sad eyes, like they've seen too much. They kind of reminded me of Olivia's.  Not the color or the shape of the eyes, but the hurt and guarded look in them.

The difference though, is Olivia rarely let her guard down or anyone in while Penny let me in, trusted me and wanted to be real life partners. I think Olivia wanted that too, liked the idea of that but wouldn't or maybe couldn't open up completely to me. I feel like sometimes she wanted to unburden, like she was getting ready to let me in, but then she would clam up, and her walls would be taller and thicker than ever.

 It's hard living on the outside, wanting in so badly but never quite getting even a toe through.

Penny rubs her hand over my arm, "What are you daydreaming about, hon?"

I shake my thoughts away, "Just thinking about our family, and the summer ahead of us." I pull Penny into a hug and breathe in her lemony scent.

"Listen, I know it hasn't been easy these last few months. I know I haven't been myself, and I've lost my temper with Audrey and Chase, but at the end of the day to have you on my side means the world to me." I kiss her forehead and pull her close.

 "You're the person I've needed in my life, Gabe. The father that Alexia and Joel needed. I trust you and I'll stand by you; I know you'll always stand by me, too." 

I take Penny's face in my hands, "I'll always be here for you and the kids, I love you. Thank you for coming with me this weekend to visit Audrey and Chase, it's hard I know, to get close to them lately.  They weren't that way before. But I guess we've all changed, we're all trying to find new footing, huh?"
 
Later that night, after the lake, Audrey and Chase meet us at a delicious, hole-in-the wall burger place for dinner. I picked this particular place hoping to bring good family memories to the forefront.

We’ve celebrated many birthdays here when they were younger. I remember coming here for Audrey's 6th birthday, her two front teeth were missing, and her sweet face was covered in ketchup, her pigtails lopsided. Her grin that night could have lit up the night sky, so happy just to be alive. Her eyes were shining so bright, reflecting the candlelight from her cake.

Tonight, though when she and Chase come walking in, she isn't smiling, more like scowling. She avoids looking at me and stares just to the left of where I'm sitting.

"Hey sweetie, hey Chase." I stand up to give them both hugs. Audrey doesn't hug back, just stands there stiff, arms at her sides. Chase awkwardly pats my shoulder. Penny, I notice, doesn't try to hug them, just gives them space.

"Hi guys," she says softly, "We missed you at the lake today."

And we did, they were supposed to meet us there to swim and paddle board but ended up not showing.  To punish me maybe, or even more horrible, because they really didn't care to see me. I'm thinking the latter, sadly.

Alexia and Joel are quiet but polite, I know that they've been nervous since the blow up with Chase a few months ago. After that explosion, Penny and I had a sit down with both of them to talk about how they were feeling, to make sure they felt safe. (Their damn father made sure they always felt on edge, so now it takes a while for them to even trust.)

Audrey sits down across from me, looks me in the eye, puts her earbuds in and scrolls through her phone looking for, I'm assuming, music to listen too. Great.

I clear my throat and turn to Chase, "So, you weren't able to make the lake today?"

He slides a glance to Audrey, who continues to sit stiffly in her chair.
"Umm yeah, you know how summer is, it gets kind of busy." He shrugs his shoulders up and down, then escapes my hurt look by shoving the menu up to his face.

"Sure, sure, I know."

I turn to Audrey to ask her the same question, when I notice her ear buds aren't even connected to her phone. Penny's eyes meet mine, and she gives me a sympathetic look. Wow, family togetherness.