Relentless (Full story is now in Amazon)

III-Vianna

It was not my intention to slap him or something. It was more of a reflex. I saw him clenched his fist but it didnt change what I feel about him. Yes, I longed for that too but I will not forgive what he did. He just showed me how shallow a man he is. Imagine? Doing that without my permission, I can file a case against him.

*KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'll open the door for Thirdy, please, please, let us be civil to each other."

I looked at George and nodded. What else do I have to do but just agree. I decided to just pretend that I am sleeping so we can really be civil. I wont see his face and that would lessen the mixed emotion that I am feeling right now---anger, distrust, longing, passion...

"Here's Mom's Salad. I didnt know that she could be this tired dad. Sleeping instead of enjoying the view?"

George chuckled and I could feel his eyes staring at me. That laughter brought back good memories when we were still a couple...

We were officemates in a small publishing company. He was my senior. When I came in, he was the one who made sure that I would be able to adjust. It didnt matter if he would go home past seven, beyond his official reporting time as long as he would walk me home. At first, I didnt feel anything special, but then, his gestures made me like him... little by little.. one day at a time, until we finally exchanged our vows and promised the Lord that ours will be forever...

"Son, love is like solving a mathematical equation. If you really love someone, you may do trial and error but you will get the answer to the problem."

"Dad?"

"I am just saying son. You see, your a teenager now and who knows, you might find the girl for you soon."

"Dad, Im still young and I dont wanna think about those things. I just want to play soccer and enjoy, but well, if I would meet someone like mom, maybe I might consider."

I had to control my smile when I heard Thirdy talked about how he wanted someone like me. I wont deny it. I was kinda anticipating what George would say.

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I was waiting for his reaction. You know, for his compliments, to tell our son that your mom is like this and that and all but I didnt hear anything from him. What does he really feel towards me? Earlier he just kissed me and now, nothing?!

"Dad? Are you still with me?"

"Son, sorry. I have to concentrate. I wanted to talk to you but the road is slippery. We might have an accident."

"Ah. Alright. I will sleep then."

"Or play with your IPAD. You have to beat me still with Gummy Drop. I'm at level 120."

"Seriously dad? Your playing that? but Nah. I am saving the battery for our moments together. You know, I'll be your official photographer."

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SILENCE.

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I felt George's hand brushed over mine. I was startled. I was about to face him with my angst when I heard SOLEDAD play over the stereo. Soledad from what I remember is Westlife's.

***

If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to realise
You're a loss I can't replace

He should have thought first of what it will feel like losing me before hurting me. now, its just a matter of time. I will break my silence and tell Thirdy about the real score between George and I. He just needs to accept that sometimes, letting go would be the best answer to move forward.