After She Left

I'm lost

"Did I hear something break?

Was that your heart or my heart?

Like when the earth shakes

Then the silence that follows"

The Lumineers's "Caves"

Sam

Sam Wilson had seen a lot in his life. A lot of destructive tendencies, especially in those who struggled with their minds and their pasts. But he had never seen someone as ready to be hurt as Bucky Barnes. His disdain harboured for Bucky – based solely on the fact that he had tried to kill him on numerous occasions – had to be tucked away, shelved. He promised Ophelia that he would look out for Bucky once they were gone.

Ophelia promised Steve she would take care of Bucky, and she was probably the only one who really could, but Ophelia was gone, and that left the task to Sam.

But the man made it pretty damn hard.

Sam reflected on this, he realized the extent of Bucky's self-destruction that day in Germany. First, he'd thrown himself out of a plane – yes, he could survive it, and yes, Sam had gotten it on camera and got a hearty laugh out of it, but it was still an obvious attempt at self sabotage. Then, as Sam skillfully got insight of the layout of the warehouse in Germany where a batch of super soldiers were stealing supplies, Bucky wanted to go headlong into a fight.

A fight they both knew he would not win on his own.

Despite how much the man got under his skin, Sam would keep up his end of the bargain.

Now, after a complete failure to stop the Flag Smashers, and an unfortunate run in with John Walker, the new Captain America, they were flying back home.

Sam noticed how distraught Bucky was. Sam, lying on his back on the flat seats of the plane, arms crossed over his broad chest, asked, "Are you alright?"

There were a hundred other questions in those three words, but Sam left the interpretation up to Bucky. He was sort of like a stray dog, you had to offer some food, and wait for the animal to come to you before you could show it kindness. That was the approach Sam was going for, at least.

"Let's take the shield, Sam," Bucky said, slow and calculated. "Let's take the shield and do this ourselves."

Sam sighed internally. He understood why Bucky wanted it, but Bucky didn't understand why Sam had given it away. However, he saw this as a step in the right direction, or at least adjacent to it. Bucky, the lone wolf, or the White Wolf apparently, was asking for Sam's help. Sam, someone who dealt with all sorts of trauma in others, knew an olive branch when he saw one.

But, he also understood logistics. "We can't just tun up on the man, beat him up, and take it." He sat up. "Do you remember what happened the last time we stole it?"

"Maybe."

"I'll help you in case you forgot. Sharon was branded enemy of the state, and Steve and I were on the run for two years, and Ophelia-"

"I remember," Bucky snapped back.

"Then you know it isn't a viable option. People will get hurt," Sam told him. "They always do."

Bucky got up from the crate he was sitting on, crossing the gap to where Sam was. Sam sat up as Bucky sat down beside him, and there was a moment where Sam felt the bond between them forming. It had in the past, here and there, but never given a chance to solidify. There had always been someone there to cause the bridge, to force them together, be it Steve or Ophelia. Now, both Steve and Ophelia gone, it was up to them. That's where the complication was, Sam knew.

But the moment Bucky sat down beside him, Sam felt that they might, one day, land on equal footing.

"But that doesn't have to be the way we go forward," Sam said, the silence unbearable when Bucky also didn't ever seem to blink.

Bucky shifted his gaze from the floor, tilting his head ever so slightly to look up at Sam. There was a deep resentment, but not for Sam, hiding in his cold exterior. Resentment at the world, Sam thought, and that was something Sam could understand. They'd both been treated horribly, for very different reasons. Maybe they were more alike than either of them would ever admit.

"If we play our cards right, people don't have to get hurt," Sam said. "I know you shut people out because you're scared to lose them, I get that."

"That's not what I do," Bucky countered, his defenses up again.

Sam knew he wasn't quite ready.

"Alright, sure," Sam said. "So, what are we going to do about these super soldiers? Mister 'I-need-a-plan'?"

Sam could have sworn he saw something resembling a smile, then it quickly disappeared. "There is someone I think you should meet."

Writing Sam is really refreshing NGL.