𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗚𝗜𝗥𝗟 | zuko

24: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO

We went back to the Royal Palace in the capital that night.  

"You're tired, Zuko," I said, as we walked through the halls toward the throne room.

"I'm not," he lied.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" I said, brushing hair out of his face and glancing at the dark tones under his eyes. 

"Your guards haven't been helping, have they?" I asked.  

Zuko shrugged. 

I led him through a curtained door.  "That's why I called the Kyoshi Warriors," I said, gesturing to the group of girls in the room.  In front were Suki and Ty Lee.

一 ꩜ 🌊 🌏 🔥 一

Both he and I might've slept better if we slept in the same bed that night.  But I didn't ask, and neither did he.  So I took to the room next door like usual, and it took me hours to fall asleep.  I heard talking outside, but I was barely half-awake when I did, so I took no notice until I realized it would be Zuko.  So I put on a robe and got out of bed and to Zuko's room, but he wasn't standing there next to Suki and Ty Lee.  

"Where is he?" I asked.

"He went for a walk to get a drink of water," answered Ty Lee.  "He'll be back."

"Okay," I said.  But even if I told them it was, I was still worried.  I didn't know why.

"You should get sleep, Jin," said Suki.  "We'll keep watch, don't worry."

"Thank you," I told them, and I went back inside to sleep.  but I left the door open the slightest bit, to hopefully know when Zuko came back.  Of course, I fell asleep before then.  

Zuko was already downstairs and dressed before I even woke up.  I had asked the Kyoshi Warriors to come the day before we left Yu Dao.  I hoped that some competent, familiar guards would help Zuko actually sleep through the night.  But he still looked tired, so I assumed he didn't go back to sleep.  His elbow was resting on the table and his head was in his hand.

"Good morning," I said.

"Morning," he replied bluntly.

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" I asked, taking a seat.  "Not even after you took a walk?"

"How did you --"

"I was awake too," I said.  "I asked Suki, she told me you'd be back."

"No," he replied.  "I didn't sleep."

"Zuko, there's something wrong," I said.  "What is it?"

"Nothing's wrong," he said. "I just can't sleep."

"There is something," I said.  "There's always a reason, for everything.  You can tell me, Zuko.  I'm your girlfriend, that's why I'm here."

"It's nothing," he said. 

I gave up, knowing he was going to continue to be stubborn about it.  

"Okay," I said, and breakfast was quiet, just like the rest of the day.

I barely saw Zuko, much less talked to him, and I couldn't even find him in the evening. I was extremely bored after dinner and ended up talking to Suki while she guarded a back door.  

"Hi, Suki."

"Hi.  Bored?"

"Very.  Have you seen Zuko?"

"He's just coming back from the prison, I think."

"The what?"

"Um, the prison?  You didn't know?"

"I knew there was something," I mumbled.  "Do you know who he went to see?"

"I saw him go in, and I saw him come out.  I didn't watch him go inside."

"Did you... sneak up on him?"

Suki looked down.  "I was worried.  I didn't know what he was doing.  He's my friend.  I'm sorry if --"

"I would have done the same thing," I said.  "Thank you for telling me."

Suki smiled and bowed slightly.

I had an idea who he was meeting with.  There was really only one possibility that was in the Fire Nation Capital Prison.

I watched Zuko for a second in the throne room.  He stood tall in front of the throne, then lit the fire in front of it swiftly with a woosh.  He watched it glow for a second, then sighed. 

"This isn't me," he mumbled to himself, and put out the fire with a sssssss.  Then I walked inside.

"Zuko," I said firmly, standing in front of him.

He looked a little surprised to see me.  "Um, hi, Jin."

"Have you been meeting with Ozai in prison?"

"I -- Jin!  Where did you hear that from?"

"Not from you," I said.  "You're supposed to tell me things!  I'm your girlfriend!  I can help you!"

"I just..."  he fell back to sit down.  "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand?  Zuko, I'm not royalty, but I'm sure I've been in a similar situation.  You don't have to keep to yourself anymore!  You have people who care for you!"

I rarely yelled.  But I was angry that he hadn't been telling me anything.  I was always there for him, yet he didn't care to tell me this.  I was sure I could help him better than his father.  Ozai, of all people.  Was he so desperate?

"Jin, I --"

"No, Zuko.  I don't want to hear it. "

"I messed up.  Please, Jin."

"I'm taking a break, Fire Lord.  I'm done with this."

"Jin!"

I didn't listen anymore.  I don't think I've ever been so angry with someone in my life.  I didn't even know where I was going to go to.  I could go to Hakan's and see Kyra, but I didn't want to ruin their time together.  Just because I was furious at my boyfriend didn't mean I had to ruin her time.  So I decided to take an overnight ferry back to the Earth Kingdom, then a train back to Ba Sing Se.  But I didn't want my parents to think anything horrible either, so I'd stay in a hotel somewhere for the remaining three days of my trip.

I arrived in the upper ring of Ba Sing Se and decided to stay in the Elephant Koi Escape for the three days left.  I hoped that giving myself time to just think stuff over would help me.  But mostly, I wanted to give him time.

Was I too mean?  Maybe.  Maybe it was a petty reason.  But you shouldn't keep things from your girlfriend.  I know we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like to, but I still have strong feelings for him.  Why would he keep things from me?  Why wouldn't he come to me?

Did I love him?