Six Days
I lay in my room unwilling to move. I haven't eaten in days. I think I had some water yesterday, I am not quite sure though.
I looked in the mirror this morning. I was utterly repulsed by what I saw. I hardly even recognize myself anymore. My eyes are puffy and red all the time. My hair is a mess, anytime I try to comb through with my fingers I end up pulling hair out. The bags under my eyes are darker than they have ever been before. My whole body is too skinny. I probably weigh less than a hundred when I used to weigh one hundred fifteen pounds. I hate the way my nose looks and my mouth is too small. My cheeks are too chubby despite the weight I've lost. I thought I would look better being skinnier. Now I hate how I look even more and can't eat a single bite of food without throwing up.
Six days. That's all I have left with Brandon.
I go visit him later. I just silently sit there holding his hand. Every now and then I whisper how sorry I am. I tell him I love him and everything will be okay. He looks paler and paler every day. The doctors say he is getting better but he looks worse to me. I wonder if they are just telling me that because of how much of a mess I look like.
Koa wasn't home today. I assume he is somewhere making plans. I have stopped fighting with him about them. I told him I would do whatever he wanted.
I tried looking for Holly but by the time I got home from the hospital, I fell right asleep as soon I got into my room. I was too exhausted to even get to my bed.
(309 words)
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Endless Darkness
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