his star

𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨

"Harmonia Nectere Passus."

My wand is directed at the Vanishing Cabinet, mumbling the same incantation over and over again in hope of mending it.

I've been working on it for so long and when I finally found the spell, I thought everything would get easier.

I thought that I will be done soon, that I would have to speak the spell for a few times and then the cabinet magically repairs itself.

I thought that after all those days I've spent working on the task, I will finally be able to relax a bit.

Well, I was wrong.

Now I have to deal with the fact that I have no clue of how long the damn thing will take and I honestly am worried whether I found the incantation too late. How long does something like that take anyway? There are no books on how to mend that Vanishing Cabinet, no books on how to make sure that the future Death Eaters won't get killed as soon as they step foot in it.

I have to figure it out on my own.

"Don't die." I whisper under my breath, lock clicking and the small cage-door opens.

The bird is calm which makes it easier for him to get on my hand but as soon as I have taken hold of him, I wish I could just put him back.

The times I've done this procedure and every time I failed is uncountable and it makes me feel even worse when I think about it, so I just try to clear my mind and see the living animal in my hand as a part of my task.

It's a tool which tells me when my job is done.

It's a tool which technically is alive, but right now I tell myself that it's not.

Opening the door of the Vanishing Cabinet, I sit down the small, light-blue bird and close the door again, leaving him in the dark.

Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.

My thoughts are screaming before I ready myself, shoving them away to fully concentrate on the incantation.

Like all the times before, I speak the same spell for the same amount, point my wand directly at the black object and hope for the best.

"Fuck." I say, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the door.

The bird is dead. Again.

For how long do I have to keep doing it until the bloody cabinet is mended? For how long will I have to keep killing birds that should mean nothing to me, but birds I somehow feel sorry for?

All that matters is that I get it fixed before end of term and the thing I need to worry about the least are the birds.

I need to improve, I know that and I already have, it was just not enough yet. 

My clock tells me it's eight in the morning which should mean the beginning of my day, but the fact that I have spent my whole night in the Room of Requirement tells me that the day is coming to and end.

That's not entirely true because Adhara and I are meeting up in a few minutes to continue working on the DADA assignment, but my working-on-killing-a-man task ends.

Quickly, I get out of the Come and Go Room, taking advantage of the still empty corridor and hurrying down the stairs.

A few minutes later, I find myself in the Slytherin common room, taking my time to get hold of a cup of coffee before I continue walking towards the girls hallway, towards her door.