Said I Loved You But I Lied... (Book 2)

Chapter 10

Nickolai was staring at his fiancé in disbelief. "You couldn't possibly mean that, Lee," he said.

"Why? Dahil ako ang naghabol? Dahil ako ang nagpakita ng motibo? Dahil ako ang—"

"Dahil mahal natin ang isa't isa!" he tersely said before he turned away from her to control his emotions. "Ano ba naman 'tong kababawang 'to..."

"You think I'm shallow, Nick—"

"That's not what I mean and you know it!" he emotionally said.

He faced her again. "Ito lang, ito lang talaga ang magiging mitsa ng relasyon natin? This simple misunderstanding—?"

"There is nothing simple about this, Nick! 'Yun ang problema, eh, ang akala mo ay simpleng hindi pagkakaintindihan lang that's why you continue to downplay it! Paano naging simple ito kung nasasaktan ako? Paano naging simple ito kung nasasaktan kita? Paano naging simple ito kung pinag-aawayan nating dalawa dahil pinagdududahan ko 'yang pagmamahal na sinasabi mo at kinukuwestiyon ko ultimo motibo mo?"

"What other motive would I have other than to love you and to take care of you? Anong ibang makukuha ko kung papasukin ko ang relasyong ito other than to have you in my life? I am taking a humongous risk here, Lee! I could lose my license over this relationship—"

"Then the more reason for us to break up—"

"Putang ina!" he cussed out loud. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

She stared at him seemingly unfazed although she was stunned by his show of anger.

"Ang tigas ng ulo mo, alam mo ba? And I admit a readied myself for that. I know that you could be a brat. What I am not ready for is kung gaano katigas 'yang puso mo."

He lowered his head. "Wala tayong problema."

"Meron at Precious ang pangalan n'ya—"

"She is not a problem! Ano ba—" He clenched his jaw. "This conversation is going nowhere. "Okay, maybe we're both just tired because this is such a long day. Mas mabuti pa sigurong magpahinga na muna tayo."

"No, Nick..." She shook her head at him. "Ang totoo, tama ka, immature ako, insecure, at ang kung anu-ano pa. Nakikita ko ngayon kung paano kang nahihirapan kasi ikaw ang kailangang mag-adjust—"

"Kaya kong mag-adjust—"

"Hanggang kailan?" she asked him with a bitter smile. "Until you'll grow tired of me? Kailan kaya 'yun? Hindi natin alam pareho but that thought is killing me slowly, Nick. Na magsasawa ka. Na mauubos ang pasensya mo. That you'll eventually think that I am not enough. And maybe I am not. I am inadequate."

"You're not."

She sighed.

"Napakaliit na bagay nito, Lee. Marami pa tayong diskusyon, tampuhan, hindi pagkakaunawaang haharapin. Kung ito pa lang sumusuko ka na..."

"I don't want us to end up hurting each other, Nick."

"Pwede 'yun, Lee. It's called compromise. At hindi 'yun one-way, dalawa tayong mag-a-adjust for it to work."

"Sa tingin mo ay hindi ako nag-a-adjust? Do you have any idea the lengths I go to just to accommodate you?"

"Accommodate me? Are you saying that you are just tolerating me?"

"No, Nick, I am not. Ang sinasabi ko lang, hindi lang naman ikaw ang gumagawa ng paraan for this to work. I have to be constantly on my toes just to be worthy of the accomplished human being that you are—"

"Hindi mo 'yun kailangang gawin, Lee Ann—"

"Pero, ginagawa ko. Kahit hindi mo sinasabi ay ginagawa ko because I don't want you to regret loving me."