West [ COMPLETED ]

XXI

It took me about six months to stop thinking about Weston every single day. I still thought about him a lot, but I'd made a habit of shoving the thought of him away, because it was too painful.

For a while I'd hoped somehow he'd contact me, but the months went by, and he never did. I gave up staring at his profile picture. There was no way I was going to add him anymore, not after seeing a collage of pictures on Ashley's feed of him and his friends and her all partying together in a big bash at what I assumed was his new property. He looked like he was having the time of his life, they were holding drinks and laughing, Ashley had a total of six selfies just of them two, most of them with her arm or arms around his neck, and his hand on her waist. It made me so physically sick when I saw it I had actually woken up in the middle of the night and thrown up twelve times.

And I was not sick. I had no temperature, I had not eaten anything suspicious, but after I had seen that picture I had felt so sad I got a belly ache that turned into nausea, and I woke up and ran to the bathroom.

I wasn't able to eat a single bite of food without throwing up eventually for a week, and any liquid I drank except for sprite eventually came up too.

At first I didn't know what was wrong with me, I hadn't connected the dots, and I was equally as confused as my brother by my lack of sign of illness other than not being able to keep food down.

After about four days of this, Scott stood in the doorway of my room and just stared at me.

"What?" I asked weakly.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What?!" I gasped.

"I think you're pregnant."

" I absolutely am not! How dare you."

"Well that's what it seems like."

"If I'm pregnant than baby Jesus hasn't been born yet," I said rolling my eyes.

"Whatever. I don't know what's wrong with you."

I shrugged. " Me neither."

A day later it dawned on me though.

And my foremost emotion when I realized what was wrong with me was disgust, pure disgust that my body was having this much of a dramatic reaction to something like this.

I was disappointed in myself for being so under the control of my feelings for someone. I'd never felt weaker in my life, both inside and out; by the time I was able to keep food down, I had lost nineteen pounds and was barely able to walk across the room without breathing hard.

When I recovered enough to step in and take care of the chores for Scott, I determined that I would never again let myself be so controlled by my feelings.

I began working too, slowly, because my sickness had taken more of my stamina than anything else. On the weekends I began to accompany Scott to the sale barns, where he put me on a quarter horse and showed me how to help direct the cattle where they needed to go. I liked those weekends, except for sometimes I ended up knee deep in muck, and always ended up sore from sitting in the saddle for hours on end.

The horses were my favorite distraction. The corral was put to use several times daily, as I worked with each individual horse before I rode it, refreshing them all on their ground manners. I absorbed myself into the care and riding of them every single day, going on long trail rides, using the Appy for those because he was the only one that didn't seem to have herd separation anxiety. He could have cared less.

He also loved to run, unlike the mares, who would bitch every time I asked for merely a trot.

He would break into a gallop every chance I let him, and so we were perfectly suited for each other. His name was Idaho.

A couple times I even rode him into the closest town for the fun of it, it was only three miles from Weston's place and had a couple stores, a restaurant, and a gas station, and that was about it.

It was a hot September day, and I was wearing cuttoffs and a t shirt with my Docs, and riding bareback with a simple pair of western reigns.

Idaho and I rode into the parking lot of the diner, and I jumped off and tied him under a tree so he had a little shade. I knew he wouldn't go anywhere even if I didn't tie him, he was trained to ground tie.

I walked inside and ordered a coke for me and two sides of sliced apples for idaho. I sat at the end of the bar alone, next to the jukebox, and silently observed the crowd of teenagers at the other end of the bar interact.

I assumed school just got out, because more teens continued to pour in until the whole place was filled with a bunch of shouting, laughing teenagers. The young waitress who had given me my food kept sending me compassionate glances from where she was behind the counter. I guess I probably looked kindof pathetic over here.

I walked up to the counter to pay, and as I was about to a boy basically stepped right in front of me, leaned his elbows on the counter, and proceeded to talk to the waitress who was about to ring me up.

I awkwardly took a step back and waited for him to leave, but they were obviously friends, and they talked for a good three minutes before the girl turned to me and asked if she could help.

I stepped forward, expecting the boy to move, but he continued to lean on the counter, so I had to stand right next to him as I slid my money across the counter, practically rubbing elbows. It was awkward.

"Uh ohhhh, babe they don't take cash," I heard a voice call from behind me.

My head whipped around and I saw the boy who had spoken looking at me with a mischievous grin, and his friends burst into laughter around him. I turned back to the waitress uncertainly, but she took my cash while rolling her eyes.

"He's kidding," she said, and gave me my change. The boy at the counter smirked and looked me up and down. I quickly grabbed my change and got out of there. Everyone there obviously knew each other. I was an outsider.

Idaho eagerly ate the two sliced apples I gave him, crunching until the juice dribbled out of his mouth. I grinned and untied him, leading him over to a short post so I could step up and reach his back. I wasn't tall enough to swing onto a sixteen hand horse.

As I turned him in the direction of home, a crowd of the teenagers spilled out into the parking lot.

"Hey I like your horse!" One called.

I smiled and twisted around, smiling.

"Can I have your number?" Asked the shaggy haired boy who'd made the joke when I was paying.

I laughed and just waved a little, easing Idaho into a gentle canter when we got onto the shoulder of the road. That boy was probably fifteen or sixteen and thought I was his age.

If I came back there it would only be with Scott. I couldn't stand my own breed. I felt nothing in common with them. Perks of being raised by adults who overly educated you on what was going on in the real world. I had no idea how to interact with people my age.

That's probably why I didn't have a single friend under the age of twenty five.

And why I was always falling for people five or ten years my senior.

Idaho needed a good hose down when we got back to the ranch, and I spent a twenty minutes thoroughly soaking him.

I scraped him off and put him back in his pasture, then headed inside and confronted Scott who was laid back in his chair watching TV.

"Hey. I want to get a job."