Chapter 11

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*

"Fane..." I grumbled. I blinked my eyes open and found myself looking at my bedroom walls. Everything came rushing back in one huge whirlwind.

"FANE!" I screamed in panic and sat up. Footsteps sounded and suddenly I was being held down.

"Rose! Rose!" Stone yelled as I fought against him. I stopped fighting and tried calming myself down.

"Where is he?"

"We don't know" Stone started carefully.

"No" it wasn't just a dream. he's gone.

"Elizabeth had an ambush waiting for us. By the time we fought our way down to the clearing-" Raven choked.

"They were gone. We lost seven recruits" Chris finished.

"Have you sent out any search parties?"

"There's one leaving in five minutes"

"Im going" I tried sitting up.

"No Rose" Stone spoke firmly. "You need to recover"

"I need to find him" I snapped.

"The best thing you can do is recover and train so that we can save him"

"Stone I can't just sit here"

"You're gonna have to. It'll take at least a few days for you to-"

"I dont have a few days!" I exploded. "He's out there somewhere because of me! Who knows what they're doing to him Stone!"

"I know-"

"No you dont! Just get out" my voice dropped into a whisper.

"Rose we-" Raven tried.

"Get out!" They all jumped into motion.

I waited until the door closed to sit up. I flinched at the pain. Not the physical pain. Not the wounds or the bruises. The real pain was Fane. Not having him with me. Knowing that she had him.

"Fane" I whispered his name. I broke down all at once. Before I knew it, I was crying so hard that my vision blurred and I was struggling to breathe. I cried out his name so many times that my throat burned and my voice was barely a whisper. I was sure someone had heard me. I forced myself out of bed and stumbled out into the hallway on weak legs.

I limped down the hallway and ignored everyone who passed me. I collapsed onto the bench in front of my favourite window. I leaned my head against the glass and watched the valley down below. The sobbing had stopped but still the tears flowed silently. I don't know how long I sat there. I remember watching the sunset but it didn't feel the same. I didnt feel anything anymore. I felt numb inside. I willed myself to stop thinking about it. To stop hurting. I just wanted the pain to stop. And somehow, it did. I felt nothing. And maybe that was for the better.

*

"Stone says you can start training tomorrow" Raven smiled at me from across the table. I blinked at her and went back to scanning the cafeteria.

"Yah we haven't trained together in awhile" Chris joined in.

"I'll stick to watching" Lydia joked. I raised an eyebrow at her and scooped my bag over my shoulder.

"Rose don't go" Zayne whispered. I couldn't imagine how he felt. Just another person I ended up hurting.

"See you later" I mumbled as i started across the cafeteria. I spotted two young recruits watching me from a nearby table. When they leaned in to whisper my temper flared.

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