home (reader at hogwarts)

forty eight

you've only two classes left till the end of the day and your head feels light the whole way through. no words can describe the feeling of utter loneliness you felt, as neville, ron and even harry seemed to be giving you the cold shoulder.

you tried telling yourself it was because now they knew that you couldn't be friendly in public, but a part of you believed they were upset that you weren't fighting for them.

"y/n," professor binns snaps at you as you stare blankly at the tip of your quill. "focus please."

you can't.

not till you figure this out.

the corridor to severus' quarters had never seemed so long before. you make your way to his large door and find it opens as you step in front of it.

you launch into the room and follow the sound of bubbling and brewing to the kitchen where severus is already making mundane potions for the lessons to take place tomorrow.

he catches sight of you. "y/n-"

you run at him, wrapping your arms around him and crumbling. sobs wrack through your body and he throws the rag he's holding aside before leading you back to the main living space- setting you down on a sofa.

"there, there." he mumbles as you cry into him. he won't bother telling you there's no need to cry because well, you clearly need it.

"i can't do this-" you stammer into his chest. "i can't pretend-"

you feel his large hand rub circles on your back and eventually, the world doesn't feel so heavy.

"i'm here." severus assures you. "it's okay."

"it was like- it wouldn't have been hard because i've read enough books to know what a bully sounds like." you whisper, pulling away. your eyes are still watering, tears falling freely down your face with each syllable. "but the look on his face, dad, the look on everyone's face-"

your bottom lip quivers and you remember the glares you got from fred and george. twins who had looked at you with such pride- to know they had tamed a snape. merlin, they must hate you now.

"if you don't want to do this-" severus starts. "if you feel like you want to stop, i'll tell albus and we can-"

"no." you wipe your sleeve across the bottom of your nose. "i have to help."

"no you do not." your dad insists, his tone as if he is scolding you. "you don't have to do anything. i'll fix it for you-"

"please, dad, we've spoken about this before. i'll never be able to forgive myself if someone gets hurt." you say, pulling the hand severus rests on your cheek into your own and holding it.

"besides, i want to help." you take a deep breath. "it's just- it's hard. i need you to-"

"yes?"

"be here." you shrug. "when it is."

severus looks at you with what you can make out as shiny eyes. his lips brush your forehead and you hug him as tight as possible.

"always." he promises.

your heart drops.

you love this man.

"come on then, let's get your face cleaned up shall we?" he laughs, pulling away to wipe the whole of your face with his long black sleeves.

you chuckle as he pinches your nose in between.

"there's that smile."

severus walks to the kitchen and you watch him return with two cups of cocoa in his hands.

"thanks, dad." you smile, arms outstretched.

"for what? these are both for me." he grumbles and you whack him, taking one.

the two of you sit on the sofa and sip away at your cocoa in a comfortable silence.

sure, it was going to be tough balancing what you want with what is best for the good of all of these people- including your father- but at least you know severus will be here when it gets depressing.

always.

"i love you." you say.

"i love you too." severus replies. "and if you tell anyone, i'll see to it personally that you are beheaded."

he walks you back to your common room and you find yourself not wanting to leave his side.

"go on, darling. you can do it."

you nod, kissing severus briefly on the cheek before heading into the common room and watching the fake stone wall close behind you.

the slytherins don't stare at you for a change. how delightful

"snape!" gemma calls you over.

you hold back rolling your eyes at her cheeriness.

"yes?" you answer.

"i just wanted to say that next time you're talking down to a gryffindor or anyone really- just make sure the teachers don't hear you. i don't think many did- but your dad seemed to be watching you and so did professor quirrel."

"quirrel." you breathe. merlin, you forgot he was still there.

"yes." gemma says, she waves a dismissive hand. "anywhoo, i just wanted to make sure you knew that of course, getting into trouble for bullying would cost us all house points. so just make sure not to get caught."

you frown at her.

don't get caught?

"ok."

you turn on your heel and head for your dorm. nothing in the world seems more appealing then sleep.

you're sure pansy must have said something to you but you shrugged falling onto your bed in the pajamas you changed into at severus' quarters and bury your head under the covers.

tonight was not the night, you think.

or maybe it was.

your eyes widen at the sudden remembrance and you lay under the covers till around half eleven you sneak up and grab your cardigan and slippers. you head to the common room where two slytherin girls are busy exchanging tongue.

"cool." you laugh, before heading out completely unnoticed.

where did it say it would happen? this midnight duel? oh yeah, the trophy room. on the third floor.

"bingo." you say, as you catch sight of neville, harry, ron and hermione walking up to the third floor.

"what is it, harry?" neville asks as he bumps into rons back, harry halting up the line as he freezes when he sees you.

the jackpot; four gryffindors out of bed.

your lips turn up into a smile.