Vampire and Prejudice

Chapter 12 - Elizabeth

Mr. Collins was a man of small importance in the general scheme of things, but for us he was perhaps one of the most important—and, dare I say, despised—gentlemen of our lives. In due time, which my mother was sure to befall any minute, while my father still believed was years and years away, he would be the new owner of Longbourn and most of our financial assets because of my father's dreadful crime of not having a male offspring. Longbourn, in short, was entailed.

Beholding Mr. Collins at our dinner table was the first time I truly wished for a brother. If this hypothetical young Bennet indeed would have come into existence, he at the very least would have spared me the company of Mr. Collins. I enjoyed ridiculous people, but to have them constantly at one's house is a little too much of a good thing.

"Let me commend you on the beauty of your daughters, Mrs. Bennet. They are excellent examples of young ladies and bring you much pride, I am sure. Likewise, I trust them to be soon married, to fulfill that highest of womanly duties," he said as we were introduced. We smiled politely at him and more meaningfully among ourselves.

"I must ask your permission to compliment my cousins daily, for I am not entirely certain I may contain myself in that regard. I came prepared to admire them, but my imagination has fallen short in that respect: the beauty that is before me deserves as much praise as my humble person can happily bestow on them."

The permission was duly granted.

"Let me further beg forgiveness for the position I have put such wonderful ladies in. You are charming and delightful and are not deserving of the faith that has befallen you as females in parting with this wonderful house—Mrs. Bennet, I must commend you on the furnishings—which you may not call home after your father's passing. Please know that for my part I do not wish you ill—quite the contrary—and believe that amends can be made on my part to alleviate the sting of the situation if you would but accept them. Know that I am fully supported in these actions by my patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and therefore I am guided by a wise and influential hand."

Mr. Collins, all in all, seemed to spend a lovely evening admiring every inch of the rooms that held his presence. The biggest praise in his mind seemed to be the notion that Lady Catherine would approve. For such a spiritual man—for he was the rector under Lady Catherin's patronage—he did very much concentrate on the material and visual aspects.

We heard a lot about Lady Catherine during the evening, which was an unusual topic, seeing as neither of us was likely to ever meet her, let alone beg for her approval.

"I dare say she is a very agreeable woman," my mother endeavored to say. She was the only one who could pretend to sustain the conversation with our cousin and guest for a number of minutes.

"Oh, the most agreeable. And her daughter, Miss de Bourgh, is an infinitely charming creature as well. She is the sole heiress of her family fortune, but that is not at all where her importance ends. She is—I am excited to report—at a very high chance of being anointed into the high circles of vampirism."

"And as a clergyman, do you not have any qualms about such prospects?" asked my father. That was the longest sentence he had deigned to speak to his cousin.

"It is only right, in my understanding, to elevate the most worthy to that rank which provides not only the longevity of life, but ensures the continued attention to all that is respectable, honorable, and correct."

"I am glad to hear it," my father said.

"I would not dare to think otherwise—Lady Catherine is proud to call a part of her family vampires and anything else would break the trust she has put in me. Indeed, I am all deference for her opinions on this matter."