Speak Out

A : Getting un-sheeped

Suppose your life were a multiple choice question, if you knew the right choice would you tick it without a thought?

Now, I'll twist it a little. What if there were two answers? One , being the socially acceptable answer and the other being the answer of your personal values. 

My past encounters with this so called shunning or group punishment decided by my besties  slowly built up like sand dunes of pending homework that it feels like I have to spit off the phlegm but I'm painfully swallowing it with clenched eyes. 


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Fast reverse few periods before

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Me and my besties were having a serious discussion. Strike that. A chick-lit-ty discussion on who is the hottest celebs. The sunlight tap danced onto my table, peeking out every now and then from clouds  as I absentmindedly reflected it my pencil box.

"Jakie for the win"  Effy almost purred. 

Clicking her multi-nibbed pens, Losa shook her clipped hair. "Nope. Nah uh. Garfie can make your heart do acrobatics" 

"And Jakie can't?" I might be a seat across from Effy but even I could feel her eyeroll. 

"Didn't know you gals were on first name basis with Jake Gyllenghal and Andrew Garfield!"  Illi, the class loner remarked. I couldn't help snorting and quipping, "For once she is right!" 

The rest is as they say history, why, even the air molecules have complained of getting them move in such a frenzy thanks to the high pitched bickering of my defensive besties Effy and Losa. I almost yawned but remembered to swallow it the last minute because the next moment we are greeted with an unwelcome sight.

"I heard a scream emanating from this class." The Vice principal glared at us, girls.

Just our luck he was taking a stroll by our middle school section. 

"Who was it?" His question poked us all like a pin. None of us uttered a word. Quite innocent looking girls we were.
A century passed and finally he realised we were one tough bunch. He narrowed his eyes as he started giving us a tedious lecture. 

"Students must behave as those coming to learn! Is this a fish market? If the teacher is late to the class it doesn't mean you all can enact the pandemonium in Pandora's Box- " And just like that another century passed. 

Effy, my partner in crime, started giving me panicked looks while the sir's back was toward the class. I tried to reassure her with my hand gesticulations and nonchalant eyes. It's all right!  I mouthed a don't worry and turned to look at the white board. . .

But it was the sir's face that greeted me. "You there! What do you have to say?"   His icy baritone made me gasp. So much for my carefree attitude. 

"Sir, I was doing my um-" My eyes frantically looked for a notebook but only found Losa's  planner. "PLANNER! I was writing up today's home works and I didn't hear a thing!" I pulled out my 64 watt bulb smile, hoping he doesn't find me sus.

Losa kicked my chair. If she was at level one paranoid before, then now it must have increased to hundred.  If the Vice Principal sees, it was her planner and not mine. . . 

Thankfully he re-started the lecture. Phew finally, I can sit!  I waited for him to turn back to the board and then just when my legs cried out in relief—

"Did I tell you to sit, miss? "  He spoke while writing on the white board.

I winced and continued standing. Losa grabbed the planner before I could stop her and replaced with my biology notebook. The Vice Principal droned on and on about honesty and accountability part.  If he were in our shoes, wouldn't he have stayed silent too?  

"And  so, it looks like I will have to give you all an ultimatum. If you don't comply and tell the name of the girl behind it,  each of you will have detention and a call to your parents." 

Nevermind, he must  have been a nitpick pro  when he was our age.

And then I heard a slight whisper, "Sir. . . It's Effinia!"  I slowly recognise that was Illi's voice. Why Illi? Why must you be this stupid?  I get it, you are our class monitor but  don't you know what's in store for you ? Atleast when our parents are called, they would come to know how warped sir's reasoning must sound!

My eyes clenched shut as next few events unfolded. Sir's beration on Effy. Effy called to detention. Effy's gesticulation to Losa : the signal for  the kind bullying. Also known as solitary confinement.


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And that brings me to present. 

Three periods later, no one is talking to Illi anymore. She might not feel much change as she doesn't interact with any of us much but I had hard time fighting down my. . . Is it conscience? Inner critic? God? Morality? What about everyone else? Why are they all silent watchers? Didn't they too go through this unfairness themselves once before? They all sat like stones, I almost wish I could be one of them. How easy would it be to follow the norm what everyone does like. . . Sheep? But, No. I had this mind whose hobby was to analyse all that I did and didn't and pose questions like right now.

I felt nausea trying to veer out of my senses, almost drowning me into a perpetual sea of mental cramps. I heard a faint chalky voice of Losa but I can't. 

Suppose  life was a multiple choice question, if I knew the right choice would involve one that is dictated by the society and one that's reflective of my personal notions would I follow everyone else, fighting down claws of threatening sobs? Or would I be brave enough to de-friend my besties, be the class outcast and talk to Illi? 

Shun her. No. Talk to her. Don't talk!  Noo. Talk!  No. No. Talk—

"Are you alright?"  Illi's voice startled me.  I couldn't stop my face from crumbling as I hugged her, barely pronouncing the words out. "H-how are you a-alright?"



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Word count : 1022 
Completed on 8th Feb 2022