Twenty-one: PCG

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Randy

"Hey Mom," I said, answering my phone. I drove Knox to the hospital where his father was at the next day for emotional support and bagel runs. I also wanted to make sure Knox didn't have too much pressure on him to take care of his sister.

"Your sister is going into labor," she replied.

"Woah- what? That's early. Where are you guys?"

"Saint Francis."

"Oh. Well that's convenient," I responded, a laugh laced through my voice. "I'm here already, but I'm not in the maternity wing."

"Why are you at the hospital?"

"Long story. Anyway, is Josie in labor right now? Like, right now right now?"

"Yes."

"Oh sh- shamrock. Happy St. Paddy's, I guess. Crap. Sorry."

"Saint Patrick's Day isn't for another three and a half months, Randall." I could imagine Mom's eye roll.

"Yeah. Sorry. Uh, well text me if you need anything. I'm currently playing the role of personal assistant, and I've already scouted out the non-out of order coffee machines. I may as well apply for a job as Professional Croissant Grabber. PCG for short. It's the newest trend, haven't you heard? It's all over the news. Companies are going bankrupt, Alanis Morissette stopped thinking everything was ironic, thousands of people are quitting their jobs every day just to become a PCG."

"Could you be serious for three seconds?" Mom snapped.

"Sorry. Using humor to hide the stress."

She sighed. "You're very immature. Room 447, I'll call you when you should come up." Then the line went silent as the beep sounded to tell me that the call ended.

Putting my phone back into my pocket, I mumbled, "Love you too."

I glanced around the halls in search for Knox. I found him sitting in one of the chairs doing homework. "Hey. My sister went into labor."

"Really? Aw, Randy, I'm so happy for you," he answered. "If you need to leave, don't worry about it. If I have to go, I'll just take the bus. It's no big deal."

"Actually, Josie is here. So the only leaving I'll have to do is going up one floor. Wait, fuck, I should tell Thomas. Hold on," I said, dialing his number.

The first thing I heard was, "I hate spiders and there's one in my room."

"Josie is getting ready to have your nephew."

"Oh. Oh my. Uh, I can't come. Grandma can only drive short distances, and Grandpa's arm is...well...kinda useless, so he can't drive, either. I feel awful, I want to be there."

"I know you do. I'll send many pictures, I promise."

"Actually, I have an idea. I'll call you back in a few minutes, okay?" Thomas said, and then he hung up. I made a ninja star out of my straw wrapper as I waited for him to call back. When I picked up the phone, he explained, "If Grandma drives me to the train station, could you pick me up in Hartford? There's a trip from here to there that leaves in an hour, and I can be there by 5:00. And I'll get a hotel room, don't worry about me staying at the house or anything."

"Oh. Um, yeah, absolutely. Josie will love seeing you. Union Station?"

"Yeah."

"Alrighty. Also, you're staying at the house whether you like it or not. I'm not letting you stay in a hotel room all by yourself."

"Fine. See you later, Ran," he concluded.

"Bye."

~~~~~

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