We Were Too Young L.S.

Meet Me In The Hallway

A/N -~~ Heys, so there is mention of drugs, selfharm and alcohol in this chapter.

I have a picture of Louis where is trying to hide his self harm scars and I think all of us know that he smokes and drinks ALOT and as for Harry, we all know that during the recording of his first album he had turned to drugs too.

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May 21st, 2017

"Louis wake up for fucks sake!" Lottie's voice screeched through Louis' ears. He groaned and took a few deep breaths before opening his eyes slowly to see a very frustrated looking Lottie standing next to his bed giving him a death glare.

Louis looked at her and she sighed. "Louis get your shit together and fucking take a bath you smell really bad."
"Oh shut up Lottie!" He rasped out.
"No! I won't shut up. Can't you see that you are fucking miserable? You are making all of us miserable too. You are always up here in your room, you never talk to your siblings anymore, do you even know what Daisy asked me today? She asked 'Does Lou hate us?'"
"Wha-"
"No you listen to me...I-I am tired Lou, I am tired of being the adult over here...I lost my mum too you know, I miss her too, Fizzy misses her too, the twins miss her too, we all do and...and I am not asking you to stop missing her but please... I beg you Louis please stop shutting all of us out...You have a son now Louis, he needs you too..." Lottie said as tears strated gathering in her eyes and her expression changed from anger to hurt.

It was true eversince Jay's death almost a year ago , something in Louis had changed. He was already in a bad mental state and Jay's death just made his condition worse. Louis was loosing himself slowly to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Not a single day went by when he didn't drink or smoke an entire pack of cigarettes. The alcohol and drugs were clouding his mind, he no longer could focus on anything not even his music, something that he used to care alot about, he would stay in his room all day and loathe to himself, he would then have a beer, smoke and then fall asleep. He was in a deep spiralling depression and there seemed no way out. He had returned to his old ways of coping with things.

Self-harm.

It was something that Louis used to do when he had just joined One Direction, while the band was reaching new heights of fame, Louis' mental health was depleting. During the starting days of the band in the X-Factor, he was always the outcast, sure the boys loved and cared for him but the media definitely didn't. He was always labelled as the worst singer of the band or the ugliest of all the boys, the hate on social media for being the "twink" or the "gay one" really affected him and he resorted to self-harm as a way of feeling some sort of relief from everything. During those days, Harry helped him alot...but now...he doesn't have his Harry with him anymore to help him cope.

Louis can't believe that he had given into the pressure and cut off Harry by lying to him about cheating on him. He hasn't seen Harry in almost a year now and every single day he regrets his decision of ever giving into their games. After Jay's death he saw Harry once at the X-Factor performance but ever since then he hasn't seen him or any of the One Direction boys. He shut everyone out thinking that it would be better but unfortunately it just made him fall deeper into depression and self hate.

Life hasn't been kind to Louis. Whatever he did, he had done it in order to save Harry from the demons of the world, he just wanted to protect his Harry but instead he just lost Harry and with his baby now gone from his life, Louis lost himself too. After the breakup, Louis found comfort in the company of his mother, he was always a 'momma's boy' and he was proud of that. He could talk to Jay about anything and everything and she always understood him. But God took her away from him too. It's not like he likes being like this sad loner, he doesn't, he wants to become better but he has lost the motivation to, because it doesn't matter anyway.