My Rogue Mate

chapter 7- loosing hope

Bella p.o.v.

Hurt, sadness, anger and tired. That's how I felt. Hurt because of the words he said to me. Sadness because he still sees me as a horrible rogue that he hates. Anger because I'm sick of him treating me like this. As if I was the one that killed his parents. I understand he hates rogues but i would never hurt someone for no reason. I'm not like the other rogues. Then last but not least tired. I'm so tired of giving myself hope for it to come crushing down.

I found hope for the few seconds of him saying I will be moving in with him until he told me it was so my room could go to someone else if needed. It wasnt because he wanted me to be with him. No. It was so someone else could have my room.

Tears came to my eyes but I tried to push them away.

"Can we go home please"

I could feel his eyes on me but he didnt say anything. Probably because he didnt care. That stung more. Without another word he got up and we started walking towards the car. He opened the door for me which again suprised me but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

We sat in silence in the car. The tension was so think it made me want to jump put the car.

We was pulling up to the pack house when he said

"Pack tour stuff I will meet you at the car in an hour"

With that being said he slammed the car door shut and off he went.

I walked to the packhouse and went straight to my room. I started packing straight away. This was not how I imagined my mate to treat me. I never imagined my mate to not want me for being a rogue. He doesn't even know why I'm a rogue he never asked.

Maybe if I told him how I became a rogue he would understand and want to be with me.  pushed that thought aside not wanting to get my Hope's up yet again knowing full well no matter what he wont want me as his mate.

I went downstairs with my suitcase. I didnt have that much stuff so it didnt take long to pack and come downstairs.

I went towards his car and there he was standing there talking to a pack memember.

When he seen me he dismissed the pack member and picked up my suitcase putting it in the boot.

We got in the car and off we went to his house, the tension still as thick as ever.

We got to his house and walked inside, him carrying my suitcase. He went upstairs and took it straight to my room with ne following behind. I thanked him and he just grunted and walked out the room.

I started to unpack all my stuff and put them away. Part of me wants to go back to the pack house and stay there because I can deal with his ignorance and hatred there as I dont see him all the time, but staying here will make me see him a lot more which will hurt more because it's just a reminder he doesnt want me when he could just come and talk or cuddle me and it hurts like mad.

I dont understand why, if he hates me that much he hasnt rejected me but saying that I'm glad he hasnt. That would hurt way to much.

After I finished unpacking I decided to go and make some food. I know beta jason is still here as I can sense him in the house.

I decided to make macaroni pasta. I will make beta jason some as well and if he doesnt eat it then at least I tried.

Half an hour later.

I was just finishing up dishing out the macaroni and pasta when I could sense beta jason walk into the kitchen. Probably to see what that smell was.

"Hey I have made some macaroni pasta if you want some. I have dished it out but if you dont want or like it I can make you something different. I said softly not even thinking that he might not like it when I first started making it. I love macaroni cheese and pasta it's my favourite.

"Thanks I will have some" to be honest his answered surprised me. I just hope he likes it.

We sat down and started to eat. I moaned loving the taste forgetting beta jason was even sat there till I heard a small growl.

I could see he was fighting his wolf for control. My eyes widened and I squeaked out a "sorry".

Finally he got control of his wolf. I could feel the tension coming off his body. I just couldn't figure out if it was sexual tension or I want to leave now tension.

We finished up our food and I started to clean everything up. I was just washing a sharp knife when I accidently cut myself on my finger. I yelped not expecting it.

Beta jason came rushing over to me, grabbed a tea towel and wrapped in round my hand. I whimpered from a little pain but also not wanting his comfort to go.

"You need to be more careful you could have badly hurt yourself . It should heal in half an hour the most." He said with frustration and a hint of worry.

My eyes widened a little not even expecting him to react like that I thought he was have just ignored it or something.

"Sorry and thank you" I said softly.

"No need to apologise. I will be in my office if you need me, keep that wrapped up." He said firmly but also softly.

And just like that he walked away. I felt sad missing his little comfort he gave me when I hurt myself. I missed his presence straight away and missed his touch.

10 minutes later I took the tea towel of as there was no more blood. All of a sudden I heard the door barge open. Luna cassie walked in and she squealed.

"Hiyaaaaa oh my god I have missed you"

"Hey, I have missed you to. Feels like forever since we hung out"

"You both seen eachother yesterday you would think you two was mates instead" alpha kane said as beta jason walked into the kitchen as well.

We just giggled at that.

"Well I mean to be fair I might steal her away from beta jason. Tell you what why dont i have isabella and you and beta jason can have eachother instead. " luna cassie said making me giggle even more.

This made both the males growl at the thought of them being with eachother and at the thought of me and luna cassie not being theres.

"Myself and beta jason will be going to his office to talk. If you girls need us mindlink us or come to the office" he said softly but he said the last bit firmly.

"Okay my love dont worry we will be fine" luna cassies said softly.

They went upstairs so cassie told me that he will be telling beta jason that she is pregnant. I'm so happy for her though and I feel honoured that I was there when she found out.

We gossiped and talked and ate some snacks. We decided to watch a movie called twilight and I loveeeee it. I am obsessed especially with Jacob.

As we are watching it the boys walk into the room and see what we are watching. They both frown and alpha kane turns it off. Myself and luna whine wanting to watch more and not being happy he turned it off.

They decided they needed to go so I decided to get ready to be going bed. I jumped in a shower and climbed into bed. I grab the tshirt beta jason lent me when I first stayed at his house and cuddled upto it. I fell asleep thinking and wishing me and beta jason could be together.