My Broken Spiderboy (tasm! spiderman x reader)

The Internship

I'd finally received my email back from my professor on where my internship would be and who it would be with. I honestly wasn't worried about any of that, as long as it didn't come anywhere near Oscorp. After everything that had happened with Harry, I don't think I could have dealt with it. Luckily for me, they were actually sending me to a hospital and not just some bio-lab. 

I was off and ready to start my internship with Dr. Powel the following week. Before I left my apartment I made sure that I had water, pen, paper, ID and my phone all tucked away nicely in my bag, watered my flowers, and then headed down to the subway. 

Normally, I wouldn't do such a thing, however, the night before someone had robbed the bank by my apartment building, and that whole corner was now blocked off from all the fighting that had occurred. While I loved having Spidey around, small things like bank robberies seemed to blow way out of proportion a lot quicker nowadays. 

The subway was a lot busier than I had expected it to be this morning. It seemed everyone had somewhere to be and all at the same time. Luckily I was able to find a seat by myself in the corner and I plugged in my headphones as I watched the people around me experience life. 

At the third stop, it seemed that no one was going to get on until right before the doors began to close and no other than Peter Parker came running onto the bus. He looked around several times before realizing, just as I had, that there was only one seat left. The one next to me. He slowly walked over to me and gave me a soft smile. 

"Hey... I wouldn't normally ask this... but it's been a long morning and I just-"

I shrugged, scooting as close to the window as possible. "Just sit down." 

"So um... what are you up to today?" Peter asked, obviously not getting the hint of my headphones. 

I yanked them out, knowing that I wasn't going to be able to sit in silence next to him. "Internship."

"Oh, that's cool. I'm actually doing the same thing." He paused. "Are you still pursuing becoming a doctor?"

"Yep."

"Cool. Cool. I... bio-chemistry... I love the lab."

"Mhmm."

Luckily just before Peter could say anymore and make this more award than it already was, the subway pulled up to my stop. I pushed past my old friend and quickly ran out off the train and back up to the main city. What was with this last month? All of a sudden Peter was just everywhere at once. It was like collectively, everyone just wanted to remind me of the pain that had tried to stop me. But I wasn't going to let myself stray. Peter Parker was gone for my life, the universe can go eff itself. 

-----

After my first day with Dr. Powel, I was already exhausted. We'd visited so many patients and watched so many surgeries that I just wanted to lay down and die. Maybe this wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I fumbled with the lock to my apartment. Once I finally got it open. I locked it back and collapsed onto my couch. I was even too tired to make my own food. 

I heard a knock, and without even looking up, I yelled out to it. "If you can find a way, come in. Otherwise please just leave me to die."

"Um... are you okay?" I looked up at the voice, to see Spiderman standing by my open window. 

"Oh, hey. Do you need a patch up?" I asked, stumbling over to him. 

He pushed me back onto the couch, "No, I was just patrolling and saw you arrive home. Though you looked exhausted, so I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Totally. Just... a long... day." I said in between yawns. "How about you?"

"Pretty good. I had a long day too, but I don't think it was nearly as grueling as yours seems to have been."

I shrugged, walking over to the fridge. "It's the doctor's way. I guess I should start trying to get used to it, but... man, man those long shifts cannot be healthy. You want some pasta?" 

"I'm good thank you."

I shoved the leftover meal into the microwave and hit start before turning back. "Are you sure you don't need anything? You seem stiff."

"It's fine. It'll heal quickly anyways."

I shook my head. "Let me see."

Spider pulled his arm away. "It's fine I promise. It's just small, and I was only going to use it as an excuse to see you."

"Let me see," I demanded. 

He didn't pull away this time and pulled down his suit to reveal a horrible scrape on his forearm.

"What the heck did you do?" I asked examining it. I knew how fast he healed, so there was no way this had happened too long ago,  yet somehow it already looked infected. 

"Nothing. I said don't worry about it, you're too tired."

"I'm wide awake now. Let me get a hot rag and tell me what you did because somehow you managed to get that infected in what? Three hours?"

"One," he mumbled. "I got cocky and got a little too close to a mugger, who scraped me with his knife before I webbed him to the wall for the cops. I didn't think anything of it, just knew it hurt like hell. Is it really that bad?" 

"Yeah. It is." I rummaged in my medicine cabinet. "And I don't really have anything here that could help you get the inflammation down. You'd think of all things I would have hydrogen peroxide in this stupid cabinet but I don't. Do you have any at home?"

"Yeah. Ma- my aunt always has that stuff."

"Okay, just dab it on there and use some of the wrapping stuff I gave you the other week to wrap it up when you're finished. If you don't... well it's not going to be pretty later." 

Spider pulled up his suit again and relaxed on the couch as I got my now warm pasta. "So what have you been doing all day that has you so tired?"

"Internship. Also, you will never believe who I ran into on the subway on my way over there this morning."

"Who?" Spider asks. 

I rolled my eyes, "Freaking Peter Parker. He tried asking me questions like nothing had changed and it was just-"

I paused as I saw Spidey cringe next to me. It was obvious that he still wasn't over whatever had happened to his friend and me ranting about the experience I had with Peter on the train probably wasn't helping any. 

"Long story short," I continued. "It was just weird and a little annoying. Sometimes I feel like I can't escape my past you know? It's such a huge city, yet somehow I'm stuck in the same place I've always been."

"That makes sense. Do you think you could ever go back to how it was? Be friends with him."

"I don't know... it felt... wrong? Like he felt like we moved past the apology and not in a good way. I don't know if we could ever go back... because well I don't think he knows he's done anything wrong."

There was another awkward pause, and I suddenly missed the angry conversation from the first time we had talked. At least then I knew what Spiderman was thinking. Now? I just was at a loss. And I think he was too. Like he wanted to side with me, but there was something keeping him back. But of course, I could never know because while we may be friends in the loosest definition of the terms I would never get to know him without knowing who the man behind the mask was.

I yawned again, breaking the silence and Spiderman stood up. "Sleep good. Also... please start locking this window. I'd rather not have to save you because of ignorance."

I smiled. "Okay, goodnight Spider."

--------

A/N- hey guys, sorry if this chapter kinda sucked, it's more of just a filler chapter, before things start kind of getting crazy. I promise the next one will be better.