My Broken Spiderboy (tasm! spiderman x reader)

I'm Fine

I sigh as I pull my smashed sandwich out of my bag and go to sit next to MJ who was eating hospital food today. She raises her eyebrow as I sit down and start eating.

"Alright what is up with you?" She prods. "You've been acting weird all day."

I shrug, "I don't know what you are talking about."

"You are such a liar. You came into work with this weird sparkle in your eye, but it seems the more you let yourself focus on whatever happened to you, you act like you just completely messed up your life."

She wasn't wrong at all. Hanging out with Spiderman this morning had been amazing, but the minute I thought about the weird tension that had sunk in at the end of our meeting, I felt like I had just been betrayed. Or I had betrayed someone.

"It's nothing," I say taking another bite of my sandwich.

"It's a boy isn't it?" she whispers, leaning against the table to get a good look at me. "Oh my gosh, it is! I need the details."

I shake my head. "It's nothing. Really. What happened, or what almost happened was a mistake."

"Tell me what happened."

I sighed, there was no getting out of this. "Well, there is this guy I've been hanging out with recently. It was strictly platonic and still is. Except for this morning, he came and picked me up and brought me here and when we were talking we almost kissed. But we can't kiss because we can't be together. I mean I don't even really know him. I just help him with his job sometimes."

MJ shakes her head, "Y/n, that is not a platonic relationship. Come on, I know you are just now getting out of your shell, but this sounds like it would be great for you."

I sat there letting her words sink in. If only she knew the whole situation, I knew she would react differently. I could never know who Spiderman was, and if I did both of our lives would be put in danger. Not that I wouldn't take that risk for love, but I knew Spiderman would never agree to it. It was all just a whole mess, and I had no idea how I got into it.

MJ squeezes my shoulder before getting up to go back to work. "Listen, if you really like him, just tell him. If it's meant to be it will work out."

I wish I could believe that I thought to myself.

---

After work, I headed straight home. I didn't even ask MJ if she wanted to come over for a drink, I just needed some time to myself. I shut the curtain to the window, to let Spider know that I didn't want him visiting tonight. For the next couple of hours, I was going to get to the bottom of what I wanted. And if I concluded that I wanted Spiderman, I wasn't going to let anything get in my way. I was going to know who he was as a person, even if I couldn't know what his identity was.

I pulled my chair over to my closet and grabbed the box of pictures that I had stashed away. I thought about the question that Spiderman persistently asked me every time Peter come up. Could I forgive Peter?

Of course.

Did I want to?

I had no idea. It was like two pieces of me were fighting for control, one that wanted to never let Peter come near me again, and now a smaller growing piece that wanted my best friend back. I wanted someone to talk to about this whole situation and someone who I could bounce stupid ideas off of and be told that I never had a chance, because it was stupid. I wondered if it had to do with Spider if I wanted to prove to him that his friend could forgive him. Because I hated hearing him talk about his ex-friend, and I wanted him to see that he could move on.

My head turned, as I heard a knock on my window. Surely Spiderman had gotten the memo. We had come up with this whole communication for a reason. I threw the curtain open and there he was. Standing there right in front of me as if he had no clue what a closed curtain meant. I couldn't even get a word out before Spider collapsed into my arms.

I drug him over to the couch, and my eyes immediately landed on a huge tear in his suit that started at his right shoulder and cut across his chest to his left hip.

"Oh my god," I covered my mouth as blood spewed from his body.

Spider tried to lift his hand, but he could only lift it up halfway without wincing, "It's... just a scratch. I just need a little help."

I ran to the closet and pulled out all the medical stuff I had, "Spider, this isn't just a scratch, this is... this is... what did you do?"

I helped him pull down his suit so that I could access the cut without the fabric of his suit getting in the way. I quickly dabbed at it, trying to see how deep the cut was. Luckily it wasn't as deep as I thought when I first saw it, but still, I could not get blood to stop pouring from the wound. I looked around frantically for my needle and the stitching thread, but I had not realized has low I was getting. There was barely enough for me to stitch together his whole chest.

"My word," I mumble, trying my best to stay calm. There was no way he was going to make it home, and even with his superhuman healing abilities, he would surely be out for a day at least. "What did you do?"

Spider tried to sit up as I finished, but I pushed him back down. "I'm fine."

"No you aren't," I groaned, still trying to clean up all the dried blood around the cut. "I need you to stop moving, just lay there."

Spider looked down at me, and again I wished that I could see his face to know what he was thinking. Was he in a lot of pain? Was he about to pass out? Was he loopy from the shock? I had no idea.

"Y/n/n," he whispered, "Really, calm down. I'm fine. You fixed me."

I stood up, and tossed the bloody rag in the sink, "Yeah I did, which means you can't move until you've healed because I don't have any more thread to stitch you up again, okay?"

"But I have to get home," Spider begged.

I made my way over to the sink to wash my hands, "No. You can use my cell phone to call whoever is waiting for you so they don't freak out, but you are not moving until I tell you you can move, okay?"

Spiderman groaned and relaxed on the couch. "Fine. Can I get a blanket too then?"

I rolled my eyes, "Of course."

I walked back over to the coach and handed Spider the phone, while I covered him up with a quilt blanket, sat next to the couch on the floor, and stayed quiet as he called home.

"Hey!" He said as the person answered the phone. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm just going to be staying at a friend's house tonight, working on a project for work that is due tomorrow... No, it's fine. I promise... Alright, love you."

He handed me back that phone and stared at me for a second. "Thank you, y/n."

"Of course. Now I need to know what you did."

"Right well, there was an explosion that had gone off while I was doing my rounds and..."