My Broken Spiderboy (tasm! spiderman x reader)

I Have Too

When I got home Spiderman was already sitting on the roof of the apartment. After letting him in, I walked over to the kitchen area to get myself a drink. I sipped my water, as Spider suddenly began pacing back and forth and I waited for him to speak up. While normally I would have just straight up asked him what was going on, his fear was palpable.

He paused as I sat my glass down, and pulled his mask above his lips pulling me in for a forceful kiss. He holds my head in his gloved hands and stares at me through his mask. I wait, still not daring to speak.

"I have to tell you," He mumbles, dropping his hands. He stares down at the counter, pressing forcefully onto it, and he slams his fist on the counter making the water in my glass shake like in the Jurassic Park movie.

I reach over for his hand across the counter, and lift his face so that he is looking at me again. "Whatever it is, I do not need to know. I know that I have you, and that is all that matters to me."

"I have to," he chokes, and that is when I realize that his mask seems wet, and his cheeks are flushed a bright pink like he has been crying. "And I know you're going to hate me for it, but I would rather you hate me for the truth, than be with me because of a lie."

"Spider-"

"No. I've made my decision." He takes a deep breath and takes a step back from me, and stares out towards the window.

I walk around the counter, and wrap my arms around him from behind. In an instant he collapses into my arms. "Take your time."

He pulls my hand up to his lips holding it there. His rapid breath begins to slow to it's normal pace against my fingers. I lean against his back, listening to his heart do the same as we stand there in silence. He kisses my hand, and spins me around so that I am looking straight up at him. He takes my head in his hands again, pulling me in for another kiss, but this one slower and more tender. Slowly, he moves his arms down.

"Jump," he mumbles against my lips.

I do as he says, jumping into his arms as he catches me and places me down on the cold marble countertop. His lips depart from mine, but he stays close enough that I can still feel his breath mix with mine. Our heads lean against each other as we stare. Finally he begins to speak again, continuing to hold me close to him.

"I realized that as much as I want to, I can't hide from you. I can't keep lying to you about who I am."

I raise an eyebrow, grabbing his hand, and running circles along his palm with my thumb. "I know you, regardless of who you are under that mask."

"No."

"Spider, I know that you are caring and kind. And that you would do anything for those you love. I know that you may be scared of rejection, but that is because you are too hard on yourself. Even your biggest regret, you fixed because you care for those around you. And no matter how ugly or crazy you may be under that mask, I fell in love with you not because you are Spiderman. But because you have shown me the gentleman you are."

He squeezes my hand, and a shaky breath escapes his lips. "Y/n, gosh, y/n. I wish I could just hold those words and how they make me feel forever."

"You can. No one is forcing you to come clean to me. I am okay with just this."

"No, because I want to be the one to tell you. I don't want you just figuring it out on your own, because... because that would drive you away even further than me just coming clean is. Please, just... just when I take this mask off please let me explain."

I caress his cheek, and smile softly at him. "As you wish."

He smiles back, and takes a small step away from the counter. He holds his hands out in front of him, as if defending himself.

"Okay, here it goes." He lifts his hands up to his mask and then falters, I notice as his hands shake, just how terrified he is. I jump from the counter, and take his hand.

"It's okay. We'll count down together."

He nods, and I drop his hand.

"Three."

He lifts his hands up to his mask.

"Two."

Slowly he pulls it away and I begin to see more features of his face. Features of a face that I am sure I have seen before.

"One-"

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A/N- gosh, the intense part is coming!!! I wanted to keep the slow reveal  coming, but also at the same time I'm not super patient so here it goes the moment we've all been waiting for. Sorry for the short chapter, but I know you all will thank me later. 

Have a great day, lovelies!