Burn Out *18+*

Chapter 42

I couldn't remember a time in my life when Jasper hadn't intimidated me. for as long as I could remember, he was all I wanted to be. The cold, cunning agent that got things done and just happened to marry royalty. He was the one with the cars and the medals and the notoriety. As far as teenaged London had been concerned, he was something of a god.

When he came over two weeks after the funeral, I didn't even stand up when he knocked on my apartment door, just yelled that it was unlocked. Zara whisked in first, looking as stunning as ever with her oversized sunglasses and a baggy button-down shirt tied at her waist. Jasper trained in just after her, always the looming shadow and always so understated in comparison to his grand wife.

"Sorry, I didn't have time to clean," I muttered, not even lifting my eyes from my project as I carefully placed pins into layers of fabric. My desk could not handle something to this scale so I had moved out to my main area. "Or get food, honestly. If you're hungry, there's some snacks in the fridge, maybe."

"It's fine, we won't be here long," Jasper assured, guiding his wife and son over to the table I was working at.

It was Zara's eyes that lit up as I moved the fabric. In one light, it was an iridescent taffeta that looked like a lovely lavender straight on, but simmering like the finest opal when rustled. "This is amazing. You have to tell me what you're working. You know what, never mind, I don't even want to know. but I do want you to make me one, whatever it is."

I smiled, but kept my focus. "No can do. It's for a private client and I promised it would be one of a kind."

"Oh, please! I won't tell anyone where I got it. we can pretend that it's a dupe!" she pleaded.

"Zara, don't badger her." Jasper pulled out a chair and when his wife sat across from me and his kid went to harass my cat, he loomed behind, standing watch. "So this is what you've been doing with your time?"

"Yes. After that gala with Zara, I had a few people interested. I want to put some good pieces out there. Who knows, maybe they will catch on."

"I'm sure they will! The newspapers were buzzing about my dress. You have a real talent, London, and –"

I caught Jasper putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. Her mouth clicked shut and her words were covered with a gorgeous smile that I could only assume she used for her photoshoots. Very real, just not real enough to fool me.

"There's been an opening at the firm," my cousin announced finally. "It's pretty basic to start out with, but they always are. Some of the higher ups mentioned your name. they thought you showed real restraint with your mother's case and thought you would be a good addition to the team."

"No thank you."

"I want you to think long and hard about this, Alligator. There are real consequences out there and I didn't want to bring it up so soon after the funeral, but—" Jasper blinked twice, then narrowed his eyes at me. "Did you say no?"

"That is correct."

There was a beat of silence. Both of them just watched me. I could hear Inkwell purring in the background, appreciating the attention that Dallas was offering him. Then Zara burst from her seat, darting over to me with open arms. It was an awkward hug, I was still sitting and she was jumping all over the place, as uncontained as I had ever seen her.

"Oh London, this is fabulous, you can make so many of my dresses. What do you think about pantsuits? I think I could use a few--"

Jasper rolled his eyes as his wife let me go, but I could see a good natured smile on his lips. "What she means is that we are very proud of you. It's not easy to walk away from this life. But we are both very happy for you."

He was right. It wasn't easy. After the funeral, I had developed a few pictures of my mom and placed them in various spaces around the apartment to keep me company on days when my heart ached. Every now and then I would catch myself glancing at one, wondering if I was making the right choice. Wondering if she would be proud or if she would roll her eyes at the mounds of fabric that had now taken over my whole apartment. I had given up on her dream. But in doing so, I had found my own. And of course, she would be proud of the way I had gritted my teeth and carved my way in this life. I had thought for so long that being an agent was the only thing that would bring me joy.

But joy was all around me, in smiling strangers, in pretty fabrics, in a sleepy Inkwell.

I just had to be brave enough to take it.

"What's all this excitement about?" Dexter wondered as he waltzed through the entrance. His coveralls were gone, left at the shop, but there was still a tinge of grease on his hands and dirt on his shirt. And he still looked handsome as hell.

"London will not be joining the force," Jasper announced.

At that, Dex rolled his eyes, grinning. "Of course not. She has to be at home for the foreseeable future. Who else is going to take care of our rescue dog?"

My cousin raised a single eyebrow, glancing at Dex, my messy kitchen table, and my tubby cat on his little tree. "You're going to be adding a dog to this...zoo?"

"Oh, if you saw his face, you won't be able to say no to him either," Dex assured, already ripping out his cellphone.

And there it was. All perfectly laid out. Dexter was in the process of moving in already. In two weeks, we would be moving in the senior rescue dog. When I came across the ad for the dog, saying he was anxious and timid, Dexter told me I had a perfect home for the senior. My instinct had been to argue, but all of those arguments that I used as a shield to keep myself safe, died on my lips. This would be a good home. I would do my best for this dog.

Just like I would do my best on this gown.

Just like I would do my best for Dexter.

Because my life didn't need to be guns and glamour. I kept those that brought me joy. I invested in my passions. I accepted failure as a part of life. And my last failure had led to me understanding myself. Imagine what the next one could bring.