Hayat Amanullah was always the pampered child in her household. With loving, hardworking parents and two older brothers who were more like best friends, Hayat was never neglected of anything. She had no sense of responsibility, no worry in the world...
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~ Adonis (flower): Painful recollections ~
Once again, I sit and simply stare at the college application.
Before, when everything was okay, I vowed I would never be one of those students who would apply to Rallie University. Because it was right there, practically in our backyards. And everyone went to Rallie.
Despite the fact that the university is one of the top in the country, I guess we all take it for granted because again — it's right there.
But now, I know I don't have another choice. After the way everything went down, it isn't feasible for me to be away from home to go to college.
Even if it means closing the tab on my Princeton University admissions letter and sealing that chapter.
I never told anyone in my family about my acceptance into Princeton. I know they would have all gone crazy with delight — my parents would've made a dinner reservation at my favorite restaurant, my brothers would've taken me out somewhere to celebrate. They all would have boasted to every person within a six foot radius that I would be attending one of the most prestigious universities in the world.
But after my acceptance, everything happened so fast. One minute I was squealing and jumping up and down in my bedroom, and the next my mom received The Phone Call.
The Phone Call that ended all our lives.
After that, I just didn't want to go to college at all. I didn't want to study. I didn't want to make friends. I didn't want to do anything.
But my dad approached me two weeks ago and begged me to start anew. Said that I could take a gap semester in the fall and start studying in the spring if I wanted. Said that he couldn't bear to see me so burdened with responsibilities that weren't mine.
I hate it when he says stuff like that. He makes me seem like some amazing person doing my entire family a favor. God, if only he knew how badly the grief drowns me under every day, my arms flailing helplessly above the water. If he only he knew how badly I just want my family back. Radiant, cheerful mom. Jokester, prankster Ihsaan.
Maybe even carefree, happy-go-lucky Hayat.
But that Hayat is gone. She died the day her brother did.
So now, what with everything that's changed, I have no choice but to apply to Rallie, the place I promised myself I would never step foot in.
After having thoroughly browsed the many websites detailing the university's admissions process and various programs of study, I had been shocked to discover that the place seems so . . . lively. All the programs, all the organizations and clubs, all the extracurriculars, everything is so colorful and vibrant and full of life that I found myself eager to apply.
