REVISED:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer (BxB)

21. Its Finally Lecture Time

After a long period of time, and many tears later, I heard a soft knock on my door.

I looked up at the door, which I was still laying on the floor, curled up in a ball in front of. "What do you want?"

"Can I... Come in?" came Leo's timid voice. Of all the people to be standing outside my door, it had to be Leo.

I slowly uncurled from my ball and crawled out of the way of the door. I sat against my wall, instead. "Whatever."

The door opened and Leo looked down at me. He sent me a nervous smile as he sat down on the floor beside me.

He was quiet for a moment as he stared down at his feet. "Your mom's downstairs. She didn't wanna freak out your little sister."

I nodded and stared down at my nails. I bit off all of my nails that were finally growing out. They looked so pretty, and now they looked like complete shit. I guess losing your best friend and a habit for biting your nails don't go well together.

Leo dropped his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his side. He slowly stroked my hair and wiped away the few years that were slowly trailing down my face.

The gentle way he stroked my hair made me feel a little better at least, or maybe it was just Leo's presence that made me feel better. Either way, I was just glad he was here, but I also wished he would just leave at the same time.

"I'm sorry about your friend," he said after a few minutes of complete silence.

"I know," I said quietly.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he murmured in my ear, then lightly kissed it.

I shrugged. "I don't know... It just--" I paused to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat--"it hurts so much."

"I know, sweetheart. I know..." He slowly rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

'I had a friend with leukemia,' echoed through my head, then.

"Did you lose your friend who had leukemia?" I blurted out.

He nodded. "Yeah, now you know how I felt."

"I guess," I murmured with a humorless laugh, that was more like a snort.

Silence settled around us again and I slid my finger in a circle on his leg.

"You do know that you'll have to go through that again, right?" I announced after a while, breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" he murmured against my head, before placing a kiss on it.

"You'll have to go through this," I said gesturing to us sitting on the floor, and my snotty, tear-stained face.

"Am I missing something? Because I'm really fucking confused," he questioned with a laugh.

I pushed away from his side and turned towards him. "I'm not getting better, Leo. I'm gonna put you through that again. Through the heartache and the grieving," I said shakily as I felt another small part of my heart breaking.

I knew I had to end things with Leo before this went any further. I really didn't want to hurt him, and even though I knew it was already going to break my heart, I had to do it.

"Eathy, sweetheart. You are not Hazel Graceing me," Leo said softly. He gave me a slight grin.

My heart pounded in my chest as I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. "Leo, I can't do this to you. I can't..."

Leo cut me off then by leaning over and pressing his lips to mine.

There was nothing gentle or sweet about this kiss. No, it was deep and carnal, like he was claiming me with his mouth. And the silent message that said "we're already too far into this to end it" was said with that kiss.