the girl in the corner.

episode 4: notebook.

the following day, i found the nameless girl hunched over her desk as usual, except this time, she wasn't scribbling. her head was tucked in between her arms, and her hair was messy with some strands flying out at random directions.

despite that, i could still not see her face.

the class was empty, save for me and her. i thought she was facing the other way, so i quietly moved over to her seat and bent over her to see her face.

to no avail, as she had her face in between her arms.  i sighed and went over to my seat, intending to lie down on my desk just as she was before classes started.

i noticed she didn't have her notebook with her. did she get bored of doodling and scribbling all day?

i didn't ask and decided to forget about her for now. i'm sure my friends will come in soon.

in a few moments, the students start walking into the classroom and chatter fills the silence. i wasn't greeted today as i was in a position that made me appear as if i'm asleep, so no one came to me thinking that i was dozing off. i was thankful for that. although i'm popular, i don't like the popularity quite as much as how people think i do. i'm rather quiet, shy and reserved, and i think the life of the unknown character would fit me well.

just like the nameless girl.

sometimes i wonder what goes on in her head. what are her hobbies? what does she do at home? is she different from the person i see everyday in private and in public? these are just some of the questions that float around my mind about her.

how will i get to know her? how will i get to know what person she is?

while i was dwelling on these thoughts, our teacher for the first lesson walked in, and she immediately ordered us to take out our notebooks and necessities for her lesson. i quietly lifted my head and obeyed, glancing back at the girl only to see that she hadn't moved a bit. i shrug and try to focus on the lesson.

it is break time. i had a homemade lunch today, so i stayed behind in class and ate it while my friends and most of the students left to the cafeteria to grab their food. the girl was an exception. she was still in her spot, but instead of the hunched position she was in for most of the day, she had her head in her palms this time while her elbows rested on the table.

this would've been a great opportunity to get a sneak peek of her face, but her thick bangs had covered most of her face and she had her head hung low.

this girl really doesn't want anyone to know her existence.

i saw her throw a few strands of hair over her face, thickening her already too thick bangs. i stared at her for a few more seconds while chewing on my sushi, then shrugged and turned to face forwards. she isn't scribbling today, i noticed. she didn't take out her notebook, or any other notebook for that matter. she just sat there, her head in her hands, physically here but mentally somewhere else. her mind intrigues me.

i spent the remaining minutes of break time imagining her character in and out of public, imagining her face, voice and way of speech. i noticed that i was so intrigued by this girl as if her aura or even existence had this special ability or power that had inexplicably drawn me to know how she lives, even though i'd never knew she was even there before.

for the rest of the day, i tried my best to let my mind off of her, and i'd succeeded pretty well. as i'd discovered yesterday, the girl went back home as soon as lessons ended. now, it was cleaning time, and i volunteered to clean the class myself while everyone had their fun talking to their friends or waiting at their clubs for club time.

i was scrubbing the desks with a sanitized cloth, and i was at the last row of tables and chairs. i was at a seat two tables away from the nameless girl's, and i glanced over at the empty desk, finding a black something in it. i furrow my eyebrows and stop scrubbing the table momentarily, and i reached the table in the corner with two big steps.

i sat down and pulled the rectangular thing out, finding it a black notebook. this must be hers.

i flip it over and find something written on its cover in white.

my thoughts, in their wildest forms of incoherent words and drawings.

the title certainly sparked my interest, but as i once mentioned before, i am not one to invade another's privacy, curious though i was, so i placed the notebook back where i found it and stood up to proceed with my task.

however, my thoughts revolved around the notebook and its contents. if i left it there, someone might find it and pry on her most private feelings and emotions. i hesitated, but in the end i found the notebook in my backpack as i walked back home.

my curious side was shouting at me to open the notebook and get a glimpse of this girl's mind and the way she lives, but my respectful side was toning down my curiosity and telling me to consider how she'd feel if someone were to know her deepest, darkest secrets.

i placed the notebook on my study table after i returned home and freshened up. i'll give it to her tomorrow. for now, it rests safely with me.