Love & Gamble

Conundrum

I always liked to think that I lived by a single rule

Live and let live.

The mindset to do whatever you want with no regrets holding you back. Nothing to look back on and only feeling immense elation at the way your life has turned out.

Clearly, that's all wishful thinking.

Even now as I make my move, trying my damndest to pump myself up and not weasel my way out, I feel a fleeting sensation.

Pure apprehension coursing through me but not letting it stop me. Everything's already so messed up, why not add this to the ever-growing list?

With a startled Luca sitting on the edge of my bed, I lean forward just till our faces are but a hair's breadth away. The moonlight filters down on us but I can only make out distinct features. The rest of the room is cast out in deep shadows.

Luca stays still, not moving an inch. He doesn't move towards me nor does he move away from me.

Is that a good sign?

Mustering up all the courage I can, I dispel a soft breath of air past my lips as I utter the four words that I've been dreaming of asking since I've known the man.

"Can I kiss you?"

Hesitating, I wonder what his answer will be. Of course, if it's in the negative, the stab of disappointment and sharp pain of embarrassment will last for a good few days. But what if he says yes?

The mere thought sends shivers down my spine and I find myself inching forward, so close I can almost taste his soft lips on mine.

No. He hasn't said yes yet.

Reigning all my temptations inside, I desperately await his answer, each second ticking by causing heat to rise to my cheeks. The blush coats me from the inside out as a warmth of embarrassment coaxes me entirely.

He's going to say no.

Luca's dark eyes focus on mine, almost taking my attention away from his lips. The movement of his mouth has me inching away, already knowing the answer.

Well, I'm not going to sleep soundly tonight. I already know my brain is going to recount this moment for nights to come. Each time I try to close my eyes, this memory will haunt me and the sense of dread encasing me will last for ages to come.

Large hands tangle into my hair, pushing my head forward.

"Yes."

"Huh?"

The sudden shock leaves me staring up at the man in confusion, eyebrows furrowed as I find myself moving back to see his face properly.

Luca doesn't take to the action too kindly, a sharp inhale of air being my only warning as needy lips press to mine. My lips are warm against his, nose slotting together as I mould my body into his completely.

Holy shit.

I'm actually kissing the man.

A whimper sounds throughout the room, my mind barely registering that it comes from me. It's almost as if the man works on instinct as he unthreads one hand from the back of my neck, sliding down to my waist as he pulls me into him.

Deepening the kiss, Luca bites onto my lower lip, harshly pulling at it before he slips his tongue past my open mouth, meshing with my own tongue. A groan comes from the man in front of me and that's all the distraction I need to scoot closer to him. My chest presses up against the hard planes of Luca's chest, legs straddling each side of his hips.

"Fuck," Luca whispers against my lips, pulling away for a brief second as we try to regain our breaths.

"You're half asleep, you're emotional. I shouldn't-,"