I'm Not Insane

Chapter 6 - Gaining Freedom

11 November 2022

Marianna's POV

The man in the white coat and the nurse left the room I was in, locking the door behind them. I remained in my spot in the corner of the room as I waited impatiently for them to return. "Maybe I can figure out a different way to escape," I thought to myself, "I was just stupidly unlucky this time."

----- 30 minutes later -----

I was beginning to feel a little dizzy as the medication they gave me began to kick in. I was trying to focus on a small scuff mark that was on the floor when I heard quiet footsteps in the hallway outside of the room I was in.

The footsteps were getting louder and louder as they moved towards the room I was in. Suddenly I heard the door opening. I looked up as Dr Vencifer closed the door behind him, clearing his throat as he entered the room I was in. He appeared to be alone.

"Hello Marianna," he began, "I've come to check in on you. How are you feeling? Dr Vladcoff said he gave you Diazepam. Do you think you are ready to leave Seclusion?"

I sighed softly, gazing at him intently. "I feel dizzy... I don't like it..."

He chuckled softly to himself, "that means the medication Dr Vladcoff gave you earlier is working."

I glared at him as my eyes welled up with tears. "I don't like it..." I cried softly, "I want it to stop."

"Marianna, I can't make the side effects go away but I can promise you that we won't need to give you any more Diazepam unless you really need it or are trying to do what you did earlier," he sighed softly.

"Yeah well I don't fucking like it!" I yelled with anger laced through my voice.

"There's no need to use that language, Marianna. We will discuss that more later but in the mean time, how are you feeling? Where are you at emotionally?" Dr Vencifer questioned softly.

I breathed slowly, looking down at my lap. "You guys did the thing... didn't you?" I began. "You stripped me off and took the photos or whatever. I saw the band aids so I already know you guys did it."

Dr Vencifer slowly walked towards me before crouching down. His eyes making contact with mine as I briefly looked up before looking down at my lap again.

"Marianna," he began cautiously, "Rebecca did it by herself. She is a wonderful and caring nurse and I PROMISE she didn't do anything other than what I told you she'd do. She did take photos of the cuts, but those will NOT be looked at by anyone unless we find you self harming during your stay here. If you'd like, we can go over it all later when you're more emotionally stable."

"Okay..." I sighed again before nodding gently.

"You still haven't answered my original question, Marianna," he continued, "where are you at emotionally?"

I continued looking down at my lap. I had so many thoughts rushing through my head and I couldn't quite figure out how to explain everything individually. "I feel overwhelmed..." I began, "I feel angry that I didn't die the other night... I feel disappointed in myself for failing to get out of here... I feel anxious about going back to the main section because I know if and when you take me back there, I'll have to deal with all those nurses and security guards who were there to witness what happened earlier..."

Dr Vencifer sighed softly before continuing, "You know, Marianna, that is a lot of stuff to go over. I'm going to book a session for us soon so we can discuss these negative feelings more. On another note, we actually have a rule in this ward that if and when something like that happens and a patient is completely out of control just like you were, no one other than the assigned psychiatrist is allowed to talk to the patient about it. No one out there is going to say anything to you about it. They will have to take more precautions with you, but other than that they will just treat you as though nothing happened."

I looked up at Dr Vencifer. "You promise?" I asked softly. He nodded his head and offered me an encouraging smile.

"Now do you feel like you are ready to leave this Seclusion Room? I'll take you back to your bedroom and you can have a shower and get changed into new clothes," he said as he gazed down at his watch. "I'll even get someone to bring some food to your bedroom. It's just after midnight at the moment which means you've been in Seclusion for about 13 hours. I imagine you're quite hungry?"

Dr Vencifer's POV

I watched as Marianna gasped softly after realising how long she had been unconscious for. "What the fuck do you mean I've been in here for 13 hours?" she questioned anxiously.

"Marianna, we had to give you a very strong dose of the Lorazepam earlier because you weren't cooperating and we couldn't get you to calm down," I replied calmly.

She sighed looking up at me. "I don't feel like eating anything at the moment," she began, "do you think I could have a drink instead?"

I nodded gently, beckoning her to follow me. She slowly got up from her spot in the corner and began making her way towards me.

I unlocked the door, smiling at the security guards who were waiting to escort us back into the main section of the ward. "Marianna is ready to go back to her room now." I said, a slight hint of enthusiasm laced through my voice. The security guards nodded at me before we began walking. I led the way as the two security guards walked either side of Marianna.