Rekindling

Chapter 11 - Why?

I am a bit torn.

Part of me wants to find Noah as quickly as possible. Mainly because I am worried about his state, but also because I am scared that he is seriously angry with me, which is an almost unbearable thought.

So, the other part of me – the cowardly one – is considering to take the easy way out, which would be to hide out in my bedroom, shutting myself off from this unpleasant world. This had been my instinct ever since I got out of the car with Sean, but then the desire to check up on the twins won over and made me go to their room instead.

With a confusing outcome.

Noah hates me.

And Aidan was actually really nice and helpful.

Who would have thought?

It seems like the tables have been weirdly turned. If anything, I was expecting Aidan to yell at me for being useless and not stopping the stranger and his friend and their horrible intentions. And I thought Noah might just quietly watch our argument, instead of playing peacemaker, as he normally would do. Because I was also expecting my youngest brother to be devastated by the news and therefore a bit withdrawn. However, I never imagined that Noah would turn into this angry, aggressive version of himself.

It is a side of him that I don't remember encountering before. Sure, there have been the odd occasions where I got into full-blown fights with Noah, too. But he has never treated me like this before. Like my presence, my very existence, is unbearable to him. He couldn't even properly look at me but turned his back on me the moment I spoke to him. At first, I suspected that he didn't want me to see him crying, as absurd as that would have been, because Noah is not afraid to show his emotions. Again, that would be something Aidan does, not him.

While I am still contemplating whether to go find my brother or turn right and hide in my room, I suddenly hear voices drifting up from downstairs.

Have Alex and Jordan gotten back?

It takes me a moment to untangle the long sleeves of Sam's hoodie with my icicle-like fingers but I eventually managed to free my hands and pull my phone out of the front pocket. Checking the time, I see that I must have spent at least 30 minutes in the twins' bedroom.

More than enough time for Alex and Jordan to arrive home.

I can't make out who is speaking, meaning they must be either in the kitchen or the living room with the door shut. But there are only two different voices. Could still be them, of course, since there is no rule that says Sean has to be there, too. It certainly isn't Ben because the airport is at least a two hour drive away. I plan to be safely locked away in my room by the time he returns with Josh and Tom.

That is the one thing I have made my mind up about for sure: I do not want to see Tom today. This day has been bad enough as it is. I don't need any additional drama. The only potential drama I am still willing to deal with today is finding Noah and hopefully getting him to talk to me.

I notice then that my feet seem to have a mind of their own because while I have been contemplating my next move, they have automatically carried me downstairs and I am now on the second to last step on our staircase.

Pricking my ears, I try to figure out where my brothers are. I hope they are in the living room because that will allow me to slip unnoticed into the backyard via the patio doors in the kitchen. The last thing I need is an overbearing and curious brother following me to find Noah.

I could always leave through the front door and walk around the house but to get to where the garden shed is, I would have to walk right past the big windows in the living room. There is simply no way that nobody would see me if they are in that room.