Fixation (Jeff the Killer x F.Reader)

001

October 21st

Dear Diary? God? The Universe? Whoever the fuck is out there,

Do you ever feel like someone is watching your every move? Watching you so closely you start to feel like your life isn't your own anymore? That you're stuck in some reality tv show, being watched on a daily basis for someone else's entertainment?

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"Ugh, this is so stupid... what am I even doing? Writing my thoughts down like some tortured poet? But I have to do this for my stupid mental health, no one will ever read this right? So it won't hurt to at least try. Maybe I should keep writing my thoughts down considering I'm sitting here talking to myself."

After 10 mins of trying to decipher your thoughts in a way that makes sense on paper, you sigh in defeat. You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and close the journal in frustration. Raindrops splatter against the window, leaving a soft pit pat in their wake.

"Great, it's raining. So much for taking a walk to clear my head."

You turn in your chair to stretch, debating on whether or not you should take a nap. You let out a sigh of relief as your joints crack in just the right way to relieve some tension.

A nap sounds nice. It's raining anyways, perfect weather for napping.

"Hey, you wanna go grab something to eat?"

"God, Misa, how long have you been standing there!?"

"Huh? Oh right! Me, you, and a bottle of wine at Mitski's?"

Mitski's does have amazing food, but not as amazing as the variety of alcohol they have. But do I really feel like going outside now?

"Sure why not, but you're paying for dragging me out into the rain."

Misa giggles and claps her hands together. 

You can't help but crack a smile as you get ready to go out.

Should I wear my combat boots or my Vans? Wait no it's raining, why would you wear Vans?

"Come onnnn, I'm hungry and I wanna get drunk."

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It's a good thing, to be able to get out of the apartment and get some food and fresh air. It's not like you can't do that any other time, but you don't like going out in public alone. You feel lame for being like that. Even when you ask her to go to the library or grocery shopping with you. You even feel lame for asking her to come out with you to run errands when neither of you is in class. You feel like you're codependent on Misa sometimes or feel like your friendship with her is too good to be true.

But Misa somehow wormed her way in and made your walls crumble, no matter how many times you tried to push her away in fear of getting hurt again. You don't think your life would be the same without her, you might have dropped out of college or gone off the rails.

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After having your fair share of food and wine, you eventually stumble out of the bar. You hold onto each other for dear life as the two of you make your way back to the apartment without looking like a bunch of drunk idiots.

You step sideways, not realizing how close you are to the curb. You try holding onto Misa's jacket to keep yourself from falling, but the exact opposite happens.

Instead of falling face-first onto the asphalt, you fall onto something hard and warm that smells like cigarettes and rain. 

Oh shit...

"I-I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine."

The stranger's voice is masculine, low... and surprisingly sexy.

Wait... what? Why does he sound kind of sexy? How drunk am I? He sounded irritated, that's not sexy.

He reaches an arm out to help steady you. You find your balance before looking up at the man. He clears his throat and steps back to give you some space.

"Y/N, come on, it's cold. Wait, does this mean we can go get hot chocolate!?"

Misa links her arm with yours and pulls you forward. You struggle to keep up. You look back in hopes the stranger would still be there, but he's not.

I wish I got to see what he looks like, I mean with a voice like that, he's got to be attractive.

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"It's fine." "It's fine." "It's fine."