Bastard | ✓

BASTARD: chapter forty-one

Triple update! Make sure you read forty first!

cloud

Raiden and I sat in the living room beside one another. My body was turned so that I could face him as his hand lightly rubbed my own. It did nothing to calm my nerves though. I didn't know just how much he knew about my past, but I knew he most likely didn't find out that much. Now I was going to go into detail about what happened to me and it scared me to see his reaction.

"Whenever you're ready," Raiden tells me, a reassuring smile on his lips.

Ever since I came back, I hadn't gone into much detail about what happened to me. Not with the doctors when they asked me, not with Gray, and now here I was doing it with Raiden. I took a deep breath and began.

"To understand fully, I have to start back at the beginning. Before I was taken at thirteen," I tell him. "I was never wanted as a child. I'm sure you've noticed, but while there are similarities between Gray and me, we don't exactly look like full-blooded siblings because we're not. We share the same father but we have different mothers. Gray was born from our father's true mate, I, on the other hand, was the product of an affair. A bastard child. Dad never planned on me being born and even if it did happen, he would've just left me with my biological mom and acted as if I didn't exist, but that wasn't an option. My biological mother died during childbirth and the only reason I ended up in the Dark Woods Pack was that Gray's mom managed to convince Dad to keep me."

I grin bitterly at that. I never knew who my biological mother was. The only reason I even knew this much about her was because of the old pack members. They were never good at hiding their whispers and rumors.

"Even though I technically was his child, Dad never saw me as such. To him, I was only a mistake — a reminder of his stupid actions and he never let me forget it. He...he hurt me mentally and physically and it's something that'll always stick with me. It was partially because of him that Gray and I never had a good relationship. He made sure that Gray and I never really saw each other and when we did, there was always some form of resentment between the two of us. I wasn't the only one struggling, Gray was as well, but we were both so...consumed by our own pain it was hard to see the other was hurting as well even if we knew it. The home was a hell and being outside wasn't much better. The pack members didn't like me because I was a symbol of disloyalty to them. Most parents wouldn't let their kids play with me so I was almost always alone, but even being alone was better than being in a house with Dad so I spent all my time outside."

"Cloud..."

"Just—just let me finish," I tell him, not looking at his eyes. "The day that I was taken, I was outside with Gray. It was one of the few times we were actually able to be together. I'd just turned thirteen and was constantly spending time in my wolf form, wanting to test it out and see how strong I was. Mom—Gray's mom—had forced him to come with me and make sure I didn't get hurt. Like most sixteen-year-olds, he didn't want to be stuck 'babysitting' and was in a bad mood. I remember trying to get Gray to help me train because Dad wouldn't and since Dad taught Gray everything he knew then Gray could teach me. Well, one thing led to another and we got into an argument. I don't really remember much of it, but I do remember him calling me a bastard. I think that day I started hating myself even more than I already did. Pissed off, hurt, and sad, the two of us split up. That's when I ran into Dexter—one of the men who helped create ferals. It happened in a flash, really. I don't think he even meant to take me, but I was there. Honestly, it was probably Gray he was after, but it was me who he got. He shot me with something and next thing I knew I was out of it."