Counter Lotus

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I didn't leave the house for days. I even called into work 'sick as a dog' my next shift. Judge me all you want, but being scared out of my mind was justified. I'm not saying the walls of the house would protect me, but staying inside couldn't hurt. Unless the house collapses. I wouldn't be fucking surprised at this point.

However, after two days of nothing but watching true crime, I decided I couldn't live in fear. Well, I could I guess. I already was. But I couldn't allow it to hold me back. Running back to Illinois was just not an option for me. Moving here was the first big selfish thing I've done for myself. So choosing to return to an unhappy life... I couldn't fathom that.

Talking to mom on the phone definitely reminded me of that.

"Hey. About fucking time you called," she slurred from my phone on speaker when she answered. "You know, just because you moved away from this shithole don't... damn, one cigarette left. Just because you left don't mean you get to forget about me.

Pausing in my mindless pace of the kitchen, I looked up to the clock above the stove. Yup, I didn't make a mistake. It was 3:30, a safe time to call. Or so I thought.

"Can I talk to Tony?"

"Oh. So you finally call and won't talk to me. Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm," she hummed.

I rolled my eyes. As if she's ever the one that calls me. "I called not five days ago. Like I do every single week."

"Tony! Tony, guess who decided we matter," she yelled into the background.

Sighing, I set the phone on the dining table and slumped into a chair. I was always afraid she would get worse without me there. Hopefully I just called on a bad night. She drank every night, but once or twice a week she would get plastered. This early though? This was very early for her to be this drunk.

After I coaxed my belligerent drunk mother to give the phone to Tony, he thankfully set my mind at ease about the 'early' part. "Hey Jos!" He must have left ear-shot because he spoke with more sarcasm. "Just another day in paradise."

"Another early day in paradise. It's 3:30. What is she doing drinking—"

"It's 5:30 here."

Ah, the time difference. "Oh right. Thank god. I was scared mom crossed into day-drinking territory."

"I'm sure you won't make that mistake again," he teased.

Mom was usually drinking by 5:00 each day. That's why I rarely called after 5:00. She didn't get totally fucked up every day, but it wasn't wasn't worth the risk of catching her on a day that she did. So, I made a mental note: no calling home after 3:00 my time.

"Nope, I learned my lesson," I chuckled before sighing. "I hate how upset she sounded."

"Oh come on, you know better. Don't fall for that, she just misses you is all."

"I bet you are missing the hell out of me at this point. You have so much to handle now."

"You think a few vomit piles and some screaming are enough to overwhelm me?"

"Well, it will be good practice if you guys ever have a baby," I joked.

He laughed. "A baby would probably be easier to look after. Even at my age."

We made light of the situation because it was difficult situation – and a common and routine one unfortunately. I understood why he was downplaying how much it affected him. He knew how hard it was for me to move away. Tony had to reassure me, over and over, that he could handle looking after his crazy girlfriend. By now, I'm sure Tony realized that college wasn't the only reason I was excited to leave when he finally convinced me it was okay to.