Hey my deathly children, I'm really sorry but lately I have been confused on love, like what it actually is and how it actually works
I never realized how fast I do fall out of it even if that person literally saved my life, I don't know how to write about it anymore, I mean I do because I somehow always find myself describing it but it seems in only ways I know
How I want to love and experience it, I thought that love was something special that unfortunately you did have to go through a lot just to have it,
but I realize you are chosen to who you are bound to love fiction or real, because love isn't something you just fall out of really fast all because you thought that the person was good
That's just a version of them that you created in your head so you could tolerate them
What I'm trying to say is I'm sick and tired of 'falling inlove' with guys just because I have created an amazing version of them in my head
And then write as soon as I see the next guy from a movie/ series I'm onto him and falling out of love with the other one
I have never realized how much pain I cause myself all because I thought I was being a bad person for falling and making that one stupid boy my everything where my mind went straight to him
Only to fall for someone else one week or one month later and I hate it, I hate the feeling it causes and
As much as I hate love, I always find myself wanting it. The attention and affection someone that really loved you for you would give,
I seek comfort and I know I have said it so many times but I really do just seek love
And I hate it but I need it unfortunately.
So with that I am gonna take a break and I thought you should know why I am, until I am able to finally understand to love and to have love means please take care
Sincerely,
Your Dealthy Momma
P.S. sorry if that was cringe...
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