The Mistake of Non-Existent Love | ✍🏼

06. Team Dinner

 - Ellery Cohen - 

I heaved in a deep breath, feeling a push on my lungs, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't tell what I was feeling, but I felt jittery, or whatever that meant. 

I wanted to meet these people, but I was scared. I didn't have mommy to meet these people, just like she left me to meet Miles, and that was beyond scary. I hated not having her here with me.

Miles unbuckled my seat belt, as he pulled me out of what he called a car seat. It was very snug around me, which I wasn't used too. The one mommy had never had me secured and I hated sitting in it because there could be ants or just stuff peeling off of it. 

I never complained once though.  I got what I was given and that was all. There was no need to complain about it. 

"Ready, Ells?" Miles questioned me, as he picked me up then put me on the ground so he could shut the door. I didn't say anything, but I had left my Teddy Bear in the car. I think he'll be safer in there, and I should probably do this by myself. 

"Mhm" I hummed as Miles grabbed my hand and we started to walk. He was talking to Mark, while I just swung our hands back and forth, like I used too, before mommy would get angry and tell me to stop.

I waited for Miles to tell me to stop, but when I slowed our hands, he just continued to swing them like I never slowed them. I smiled at this, because mommy hated whatever I loved doing. Miles hasn't hated a single thing about me. 

"Good evening! Do either of you have a reservation?" a nice lady spoke, as she looked at Miles and Mark before down at something. It was too high up for me to see over and look at what she could see. "Uhm, yes. It's for the University of Michigan Ice Hockey Team" 

At this, the lady seemed to find whatever she was looking for and then directed us to this long table. I stopped walking as all the people turned to look at us. I didn't like this one bit. I pulled, hard, on Miles' long jacket that he had told me was his travel jacket, while Mark had bought me a black puffer, whatever that was. 

But that wasn't important. What was important was to get Miles' attention. I tugged harder, again, and he stopped walking to look down at me. "Ells, what's up?" he questioned. His voice wasn't as light as last night, but it was much better than mommy's voice when she spoke to me. 

"N-no" was all I could get out. It didn't look like he understood what I was trying to say, so I tried to gesture to the people at the table without pointing. If there was one manner that mommy taught me, it was to not point at people. It was rude. 

"We're just going on a walk" Miles spoke to the people at the table, who still hadn't taken their eyes off of us. I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes. I don't know why I was crying, all that I didn't want to go to those people. 

Some of them were familiar, but mommy's male friends were familiar and they still did what she did to me. They hurt me more than mommy did because they never drank as much as the colored stuff mommy did.