Unseen Worlds: SciFi Challenges

Moments in Eternity

Of all the planets in all the universes, Marvin had to end up on this one. He knew, as he knew most things, that in the infinity of the multiverse, a planet like this must exist somewhere. But the likelihood of him ending up on such a planet were incredibly slim. Much like the chances of being killed by a space toilet falling out of orbit, it wasn't impossible but the odds were incredibly slim. Marvin calculated them in about 0.037 seconds.

If Marvin could sigh, he would. But he was an android, and as such did not carry on respiration. He was stuck in the middle of the desert, on an absurd world, trudging slowly towards gleaming pyramids. The pyramids looked nice, he had to admit, but there was little else to distract him, and he was rapidly growing bored. Very bored. He looked around for something that would help expedite his journey. He saw nothing. He trudged further.

As he made his slow, awkward way across the dunes, he noticed odd happenings around him. Unlike most things, the cause of the strange occurrences was not readily evident to him. He noticed cactus flowers bloom and whither in a matter of moments. He watched rabbits race across the sand at speeds far too fast for their anatomy to achieve. Puzzled, he considered the possible causes, though none seemed likely. Those rabbits probably didn't have tiny rockets in their bums and the cacti were most likely not engaging in a rare form of vegetable semaphore, sending messages to each other like "what a nice day we're having!" and "fancy a shag?"

A temporal disturbance, then. He thought to himself. Of course nothing like that would ever happen to ME. I'll have to walk every excruciatingly slow step across the desert by myself. No rest for the weary.

He shuffled along, detesting every minute of it. And many minutes of it there were. He considered quitting. Just sitting down and giving up, letting the dunes swallow him. He couldn't imagine anything in this planet being worth the exploration, but he continued to walk anyway. After a few days, he made it to the pyramids. Three gleaming marble facades rose from the sand and another was on it's way up. Marvin's sensors could detect time disturbances created by the pyramids. Dozens of workers on a scaffold reacted in shock and terror when they saw him approach. Was this not Kephir, the scarab headed god of Judgment and awkward dance moves (the two are often related), come to evaluate their lives and send them to the great discotheque in sky? Many cried, begging for more time to perfect their choreography. Luckily, it only took a few moments of listening for Marvin to decode their language.

"No, I am not Kephir, and I don't dance. Just tell me, where is the closest city?"

The workers were stunned to silence. Finally one stepped forward. "The capital of Djelibeybi is a 15 minute walk that way. But if you follow the Djel," he motioned to a river running by the work space, "it will join with the Ankh, and take you to Ankh-Morpork. It's the biggest city on the Disc."

Marvin nodded throughtfully and began to turn away when the helpful worker posed a question in return. "If you're not Kephir, who are you?"

Marvin heaved his body, as though his artificial limbs were capable of discomfort. "I am Marvin. And I think you ought to know that I'm feeling very depressed."

However, there is no word for "depressed" in the Djelibeybian language, so Marvin made one up, a portmanteau of "sad-bored-tired". Suddenly, a mason started weeping.