Andromeda

Chapter Four, Like The Books

Having these elixirs two days in a row has its side effects.

Paranoia.

Bleeding gums.

Nausea.

I had knocked down lamps and glasses in my process of jumping out of fear. Blood dripped from the corners from my mouth sending Charlotte into terror. And the room just will not stop spinning.

I could barely focus on the class but at least the shaking of my hand has calmed slightly.

If boys and girls can't spend too much time with one another, why do they always have classes together? I learned that physical interaction with a member of the opposite sex was punishable by isolation, but my 'medical emergency' was enough to dismiss that rule.

"This is school is very unorganized, especially compared to Haight." Charlotte told me last night. I would have loved to attend Haight, what lovely education opportunities could have arisen for me. "Why would they arrange seating by unexplained student numbers anyway?"

The student number is something I have recently discovered on my uniform. 139 was mine.

Right now, I was seated in English Literature. Altair was next to me, and he hasn't given me a glance all day. I tugged lightly on his sleeve, and he moved his arm from me. It moved away from me, he moved away from me.

"Why won't you speak to me?" I whispered.

"Focus."

"Did I do something?"

He didn't reply. He moved away from me. But the further away he got, that lacking of an electric pulse grew. Suddenly, my desire to see him was more intense.

And I tried to speak to him in every class from there on out. Maybe he was just really passionate about English Literature and wasn't keen on tearing his eyes from the board. But in not one class would I receive a response. How could one kiss another and leave them in the dust?

This isn't like the books. Am I so fragile that a boy can discomfort me like this?

The hallways were cold. As I walked through, gusts of wind lifted my hair. Open windows were letting in unwanted autumn air. God, where is Charlotte?

I miss my mom. I am patiently awaiting winter break. This school isn't what I thought it was. I don't feel connected here. I miss home. I miss England.

"I hate this school." Nadia said, we were in the dining hall. Altair was socializing, surprisingly.

"Why?" I asked. The school was darkening quickly but hate is a strong word.

"Do you not hate it?" Ruby asked. "You don't seem to know much."

"What. You think I'm also not the brightest?" I raised my voice, I wanted to catch Altair's attention. I succeeded. His eyes met mine and they were piercing my heart.

"Ruby, don't tell her." Charlotte pleaded. "Please don't tell her."

"It's terrible to leave her in the dark, Charlotte. Have some common sense." Ruby's voice was sharp. "You can't keep lying to her."

Lying to me? About what? Ruby's odd behaviour returned.

"This school is lovely."

"You belong here, Evangeline."

"You're sick in the head, Evangeline." Charlotte flinched in the corner of my eye.

"How could you say that to me?" I asked.

"I'm not being impolite. I'm stating a fact. The only reason you are here is because you have a mental illness of sorts and you're here to be corrected."

"Vega, you didn't know that? No wonder you were acting so strange about this school." He finally spoke. To me. Not the words I wanted to hear. Altair, God, Altair only spoke to me when I would rather him shove a blade into his esophagus.

Charlotte began crying.

"What are you saying...? There's nothing wrong with me."

No one responded. Why won't anyone respond?

"There's nothing wrong with me."

"We are all here for a reason." Nadia said.

"This is a correctional facility." Ruby followed up. "Something is wrong with us, as there is something wrong with you." Charlotte was at emotional unrest.

How come I don't feel anything? My body is disconnected again everything is moving so fast.

Then slow. I watched a glass of water slowly pour over the end of a table.

Then fast. The students were quick to clean it up.

Then slow. A teacher approached them.

"Why the hell are you crying?" I got louder. My vision got fuzzy. Charlotte met my eyes.

"What?"

"I said," I stood up. "Why the hell are you crying? You were the one who lied to me. All these secrets about the school, about testing. You all kept this from me. You all knew I didn't know." All human figures blurred out.

I didn't know who was speaking to me anymore, their voices merged, and the wailing sobs of Charlotte might as well have belonged to anyone. I stood up. I left my plate unattended for anyone else to clean. I left the hall. I left the building.

"You belong here," Tears streamed down my face. "Evangeline."

The sun could no longer be seen in the distance, I leaned against the white pillars of the building. When I first saw these, I was hopeful for what was to come. But all I want now is to see my mother. Is there something that could ease the pain of this newfound knowledge?

I approached the well and stared into the water. I couldn't see a potato sack down there.

"You shouldn't be out here." My head whipped around. Headmistress Crow stood tall with long, dainty arms at her sides. "There's no time for adolescent misery, correcting that is what we are about."

"I had just learnt that, Headmistress." I hung my head low. The tears dripped to the concrete.

"You had caused more commotion than any student yet. But you have been obedient, I can tell." She remained still standing, not approaching nor moving away.

"I'm afraid of you."

"All the students are."

"I'm scared my peers want to harm me." I thought of Altair shunning me out, Ruby's brutal honesty. Headmistress Crow fall silent for a moment, but only for a moment.

"Head back inside, 139."

I stood up, and I obeyed. I returned to my dorm. Charlotte was fast asleep, and her cheeks were tear stained. I can't understand why she was harmed by me being lied to.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. The curtains remained drawn; I didn't want to bless my eyes with the constellations that night. I felt like I was falling into my mattress, my body sunk into the silk sheets, into the foam. Like quicksand.

I thought we could be safe. Safer in America, mother said.

I slumber.