Andromeda

Chapter Eight, Foxes, Snakes, and Orchid Mantis

Were these elixirs actually doing anything? They simply burned my insides and made me feel ill. I began to wonder, what was everyone else here for if everyone else is ill in the mind?

"You're free to go." I hopped off my chair from the nurse's office. I walked back to class. Past the destruction I made. I looked out to the courtyard through the fallen pillars. The larger debris has been cleared and I'm not too sure where it was dropped. There was maybe a dozen more guards surrounding the entrance.

"Back to class." They told me. I walked back into my Latin class, which was the second class on Thursdays meaning I missed maths. Thank God for that, truly. As I entered the Latin hall, all eyes were on me. Constant attention began to feel overbearing; I thought I would have gotten used to it by now. The transition from home schooling to proper schooling (or as proper as it can get) is proving to be difficult.

"Take a seat, Puella." Ms. Junta's voice got softer. What, was I being pitied? I took my seat next to Altair who was giving me the same look. These apologetic stares were going to prove that these elixirs aren't going to help my crazy.

Do I even continue to focus on the pain of this place? The pain of the knowledge that my mother left me stranded in America, surrounded by liars and those who want to hurt me. I thought of a poem my mother wrote though she never shared. She couldn't even share it with me, her beloved daughter. I remember going through her things to find shoes to pair with a new dress my brother gifted me. A box of papers with poetry written messily over them fell out. She felt alone and that loneliness makes me remember that my mother is also a daughter. But why, oh why, if she understands the pain of being a daughter why would she do this to me? The poem goes as so:

Oh, dear swan, why is it that I can't shapeshift?
Into a being as elegant as you but I'm stuck in this insincere body
Sometimes I wish I could open a portal or cause a rift
And escape these animals who never say sorry

I think that shapeshifting is real.
Not from human to animal but human to liar
There are most who want sincerity,
These would lack the desire

Maybe humans can shapeshift into an animal of deceit
Maybe fox, snakes or orchid mantis
Maybe in your world, dear swan, your peers lie as you weep
But here, I'll never be at bliss

For my mother, where could 'here' be? Maybe her 'here' was with my father and my brother who were in fact animals who never say sorry. But her dear daughter, doesn't she understand that she trapped me in a cage with foxes, snakes, and orchid mantis?

I turned back to Altair, who immediately met my gaze. I smiled at him. He did not smile back. No thought or emotion could be read on his face but yet, I smiled.

My eyes met the halls once more with a new light. Instead of mentally ill students, I saw those sharing their days with their friends. Laughing at lockers. Couples discreetly holding hands. And I remembered, this is still a school. It's just a school. And I think I have to stay. There's no choice really. If my skin ever met the water, I wouldn't even know what to do or where to go. I was never taught how to swim. My body has never even left the United Kingdom.

I was back in the dining hall with a scrumptious feast in front of me, and I was now finally in the mood to eat it. I wanted to forget about everything, and I did.

"Elliott and I are going to the dance together. I'm sorry I can't go with you guys as friends."

"It's alright, I suppose it'll just be Ruby and I."

"I'll go." I announced with a smile on my face. Nadia's eyes widened and her smile followed in suit.

"Wonderful! Really? Oh, I'm so excited!" I expected Ruby to be out of it, but she smiled as well. Everyone was happy.