Night Lights and Dark Places

Chapter Twenty-One - Ultimatum

The wait had been short, but agonizing. She watched his return with morbid pleasure; his unbothered routine of coming and going. He came up over the guard rail and shuffled under the porch light, where he meticulously inspected and cleaned his nails before sitting and removing his boots. His reentry through the sliding glass door was quiet and careful, taking a few extra moments to snap the lock in place and turn off the porch light. James hadn't moved any further into the room when he noticed her.

"Oh, hello," He said, as if greeting a stranger. It must've taken a moment for his thoughts to collect, because his posture shifted and he cocked his head. "What are you doing sitting in the dark?"

She hadn't realized the lights were off. James crossed the living room to put away his boots, but seemed hesitant about hanging his jacket. "Not much. Waiting for you."

He looked back at her, confused. "Why?"

"I wanted to talk to you," Tolly said, shifting. "I didn't want to leave things the way that we did."

James raised an eyebrow and then frowned and took off his jacket, worrying it in his hands. "I don't know what you mean."

Tolly rose from the couch and padded over to him, gently taking the jacket from him and hanging it on the coat rack by the door. He was avoiding her gaze, cheeks colored and lips curled downward. "Tess said some pretty hurtful things about you. I wanted to apologize."

He shook his head, swallowing. "She thought that we were..." There was a pause as he studied the sleeves of his jacket, eyes narrowing at a stray speck of blood. "And in the pantry, you..."

The kiss? She stiffened. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just..."

James moved away from her, holding up a finger. "If we're going to have this conversation, may I clean up? My breath is..." He held a hand over his mouth and continued towards the bathroom with reluctant, plodding steps. A shudder wracked his broad form, and he looked back at her guiltily. "Toothpaste is the worst human invention, I think."

Her brain short-circuited for a moment and she trailed after him, maintaining a modest distance and fighting a little smirk as she saw him struggle with the vanity light. On a lark, she'd bought him a toothbrush, and he seemed to make an earnest effort to brush every night, but the taste and the smell of mint repulsed him to an absurd degree. Mouthwash was certainly out of the question, in that case, and she chose not to introduce him to it. Not like he was going to the dentist any time soon, anyway. "Before you leave me in suspense, are we okay?"

A dark little glance in her direction was quickly followed by a sad, reassuring little smile. "We're okay. I promise."

Tolly sighed, relieved, and slumped against the wall outside the bathroom. James inhaled deeply and began to brush with a rigorousness that looked painful, taking great care to not catch a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

"I'm sorry." She repeated after a while. He spat a mouthful of pinkish foam into the sink, said nothing as he rinsed his mouth and chin and then washed his hands.

"I think that I'm the one who should be sorry," he murmured, staring at the bubbles circling the drain.

"But you didn't do anything," she protested, eyebrows raised. He regarded her for a moment before standing and returning to the living room. Tolly remained rooted in place, watching him helplessly.

"I liked it, Tolly." James looked back at her, defeated, tired. He shook his head again, almost incredulously, and he sat on the couch with a faint groan. "And what's more, I wanted it to be true. That you feel... some sort of way about me."