An introvert reader. An online writer. A nostalgic short story.
---
An introvert fanboy develops a crush to his favorite online writer, who doesn't even know his existence. Instead of following her on her social media accounts, sending her long swee...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Dear Calliope,
It took me years to finally understand why some people write.
For few, they write to tell a story. They wanted to share their stories, created by their imagination to the world. For them, perhaps, that was their way of connecting to the world, to their readers.
Sila siguro ‘yong mga writer na gusto lang magkwento. Gusto nilang magsulat para ilabas ang mga senaryong namumuo sa kanilang isipan. Madalas, marami sa kanila ang baguhan pa lang. Gusto lang nila magsulat without expecting anything in return.
For some, they write to escape, to breathe. Maybe, their reality was full of misfortunes. They write in order to create a world where the characters can live and have their happy ending despite of getting into a series of obstacles. Maybe, that way, they can have their happy endings, too.
Sila siguro ‘yong humihingi ng tulong na sana matapos na ang kung ano man ang kanilang pinagdadanan sa buhay na hindi nila kayang isigaw sa mundo. Gusto nilang tumakas sa problema o buhay na hindi naman nila ginusto. At ang tangi nilang paraan ay ang pagsusulat.
For others, they write to gain attention, money and fame. Maybe, just maybe, they needed to. And no one should blame them for that. They just wanted to gain attention like what majority of normal people wants. They write to gain money in order for them to survive. Maybe, that was their source of income and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Sila siguro ‘yong nagsusulat na lang basta para lang may masulat na istorya. Sila siguro ‘yong ayos lang kahit hindi maayos basta may masulat lang dahil kailangan nila. Wala silang choice kung hindi ay magsulat nang magsulat. Marami sa kanila ay napipilitan lang magsulat.
“Which of them are you?” I whispered, asking you by myself.
It’s been a year since the last time we’ve met. I am now in my fourth year in college and two months from now will be my graduation day. And as I grow, mas maraming tanong ang namumuo sa isip ko. Mga tanong na hindi ko alam kung kanino ko itatanong at kung saan o kanino ko mahahanap ang sagot. I think, as I grow, I was getting lost.
Is there such a thing certain?
Why do we need to live when we’re going to die one day?
Why we need to study when there’s no certain opportunity waiting for us
Why we need to take risks for our love ones by hurting ourselves on the process?
Can you answer those questions for me? Will you?
If not, can you just tell me the reason why you’re still writing? Because growing up as an aloof guy, your stories become my company, my friends. Your stories help to grow as a reader and as a person as well. With your stories, I think, and I hope, I’ll grow as a better man because your stories have always been part of me, of who am I and whom I will be.
When I’m afraid, I will read your stories to gain courage and confidence to face my own issues both in school and life.
When I’m happy, I will read your stories to share my feelings with the people who I’ve met but never existed in this world yet taught me a lot of things.
When I got hurt, I will read your stories to cry just to ease the pain. I’m letting myself to feel the pain until it won’t hurt me again.
When I got lost, I will read your stories to find my way back to my shelter, to my home.
It may sound funny and cliché but that were all true. And if you’re going to ask me how or why, I don’t know either. It just happened. You wrote stories, I found and read them and suddenly, they became part of my existence. Sounds cliché, right?
My ordinary life became interesting as I found and read your stories, and started venture to a new world where fictional characters exist. Your stories become part of my journey. Each one of them witnessed my triumph, my happiness and even my vulnerable side.
Hence, I really wanted to say ‘thank you’ for creating them. I know you just created them just to read certain stories that you wanted to read. But it turned out to be the way of helping those readers who once coward to face their reality. And I am happy and thankful that I was one of them.
As for you, for any reason what you have right now, and to the struggles you may encounter, I’m hoping that you will choose to continue writing.
And if, by chance, you started doubting yourself and your writing skills or having a hard time to write, I want you to go back to this journal and read them again. I want to help you, just like what you have done to me and to your readers.
Just assume that I sighed here.
Ah, it’s been a roller coaster for me to write these letters but I am glad that I finished them on my 21st birthday. Yeah, it’s a present for me, as well as for you. And with this, allow me to write a certain plot, too, that I really want to read but can’t find one. I am asking for a blessing to give a birth of me as an aspiring writer.
Now, I am going to start turning my pen into a sword, just like what have you mentioned on one of your poems.
I am going to free all the imagination I have created in my mind and let them known by the world. I’ve always been a reader for quite some time. Now, it’s time for me to enter the world of writing stories, of part of your world.
Because the best part of me, as a reader, is you.
This has been U., one of your readers. Hangang dito na lang muna, calliope. See you again, very soon.
