faces of moon: mother

Chapter 2: The Funeral

Warning: This chapter contains graphic details, death, depression, etc. If these topics trigger you, skip this part.

Song: Aurora "Winter Bird"

Coley's POV: 26 years ago

My mother is dead. Cancer took her from me. I repeated to myself for the thousandth time.

My mother is gone. She is no longer with us. Numb.

My mommy is gone. Thalia is dead. The cancer took her. Nothing.

I felt nothing.

Something was wrong with me.

No matter how many times I said the words, I could not make them make any sense. It didn't feel real. I made myself say them out loud to try to comprehend it. Any moment mama would come waltzing in the door with my groceries for the week and a movie for our Friday night movie night. The door would swing open and bang against the wall behind it. Her voice would yell out, "CO-CO! Come help me with these groceries! I don't want these men tracking mud throughout the house!" The silence in my cabin echoed in the space of her memory.

She hadn't actually been here in a couple months because the cancer made her too weak in the end. 53 days to be exact since she graced my doorway with her presence. I went to visit her instead, which was particularly awkward with Alpha in the house. He wouldn't go very far away from her.

I swiped my finger across the books on my bookshelves, tracking a mark through the thick layer of dust on the spines. My mom used to dust for me. I preferred to neglect human things like that and be outside in my fur. My mom made sure my human side was taken care of. She didn't want me to get lost in my wolf. She kept my human side grounded. To be present.

I paced across the rug in front of my fireplace. Biting my lip, my arms crossed against my chest. Sleep had not been my friend lately. The night air called to me through the glass of the floor to ceiling window next to the fireplace. My skin rippled wanting to shift, but I ignored it, trying to solve the unsolvable puzzle that was acceptance of death. Trying to stay in my skin like my mom would have wanted. To be present.

A shift in the wind. A crack of a twig. A rustle of leaves across the river. Stopping my frantic pacing, I watched. Samara's eyes reflected on the window in the darkness, bright pale blue eyes like the sky against grey clouds. Grey clouds hung all around us and the storm had just begun.

I could see the cause of the movement clearly: Madge.

Madge was the witch who lived next to the edge of our pack lands. The river and a small hedge of the forest separated us. She had become sort of an ally during the past 3 years here. I stayed out of her way and she stayed out of mine. She would leave me herbs and vegetables on the hanging bridge. I would leave her fresh kill. This became especially helpful since my mom got sick, and the weekly groceries had stopped. Alpha would not be responsible for my well-being as mom had been.

Madge, like so many other hedge witches, had a symbiotic agreement with the Alpha: place protection spells around pack lands to keep rogues and other threats at bay and the pack would protect her. Pack members would sometimes use her skills for herbal remedies, potions, funerals, ceremonies requiring magical assistance, and such. She would use the pack for supplies that she needed to survive, protection, and land to live on.

Witches were required for Shadow Moon funerals to assist the passage of souls to the Moon Goddess, or Luna, after death. Alpha must have asked her to assist with the funeral. I did not realize Madge would have accepted seeing that my mother was human. Humans aren't allowed passage to spend the afterlife with Luna. They typically go to the land of the dead or heaven or are reincarnated or whatever humans believe in. I silently thanked Madge for agreeing to assist, as it must be comforting for the Alpha and pack to believe that the Luna of Shadows is with the Moon Goddess in her afterlife.