Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 19

Khushi

No one spoke during the journey back home. Because there was nothing left to say. At least not when everyone was hurt in their own way.
 
When we reached home, we found Babu Ji in the living room in his wheelchair with the nurse. He brightly smiled at Jiji and me as soon as we entered.
 
"Go to your room and rest. We'll talk after lunch." Bua Ji said as she gestured for us to go.
 
We quietly had our lunch and returned to our room. Jiji didn't say a word to anyone. She either stood in front of the window or went to the backyard, wanting to get some fresh air. But I knew she wanted to be alone. To digest everything.
 
I shouldn't have told her the reason. I should have lied about it. At least Jiji would have been happy with Akash Jijaji then.
 
 
Later that afternoon, Amma called me and Jiji into the living room, where she sat beside Bua Ji.
 
"Sit." Bua Ji said, nodding at the sofa. We both obediently followed and waited for them to say something.
 
Amma and Bua Ji shared a look before Bua Ji said, "We have told your Babu Ji everything."
 
I looked up at her with shock and then glanced at Amma, who sat staring at her hands in her lap.
 
"He took it quite well compared to what we had expected." She added slowly.
 
"But Bua Ji, he's fine na?" Jiji spoke, worried.
 
"He's fine. Don't worry." Bua Ji said while patting Jiji on the hand.
 
I sighed slowly with relief and looked down at my hand.
 
"Khushi Bitiya?" Amma called me.
 
"Hmm?" I looked up at her with my eyebrows rising slightly.
 
She stayed silent for a moment before taking my hand in hers.
 
"Please forgive me. I... I didn't want to yell at you there. I just... got scared. I thought if I yelled at you for not telling them about Shyam Ji, then they would at least try to understand you instead of blaming you.... And I know you had a good reason for not telling them. But... I was scared for you. That's why I did what I did."
 
"Amma.."
 
"I couldn't protect you from them. I couldn't protect you from him. I... I swear, if I had any idea about what was happening, then I would've stopped it. I would have saved you." She sobbed then took Jiji's hand in her free one.
 
"You also forgive me, Payaliya. I... I didn't know that Akash Bitwa would do such a thing. I didn't know that your mother-in-law behaved like that to you. If I had any idea then... then I would've never let you get married in that house." Amma's shoulders shook as she continued crying.
 
"Amma, it's not your fault. I... fell in love with Akash. If there's someone who should be blamed, then it's me. Because of me, you all were insulted and had to go through this. Because of me... Khushi got blackmailed and forced." Jiji said quietly, as she stared at a distance.
 
No one said anything for sometimes as Bua ji suddenly broke the silence.

"We are not at fault. If anyone is at fault, then it's the whole Raizada family. Every one of them is a liar. Everyone used us and betrayed us. First, Shyam deceives us. Then Anjali and Devyani ji brainwashed me with those sweet words of theirs into giving your hand to Akash... I shouldn't have believed them when they said they'd take care of you. They ruined my daughter's life." Bua Ji looked at us in the eyes. "So, don't you dare blame yourself or feel guilty. You are not at fault at all. None of you are, okay?" She finished by pointing a finger at us and only putting it down when we nodded.
 
"Payaliya... do you wish to go back to that house?" Bua Ji asked carefully after a few minutes.
 
I slowly glanced to my left, where Jiji sat with her head slightly bowed down. I reached for her hand and gripped it tightly, which made her look at me. My heart broke as I saw the look in her eyes. She wasn't crying but she was feeling something much stronger, something beyond then just simple pain.
 
"I'm sorry, Jiji. I... again broke your marriage." I said as my voice shook, and I bit my lower lips to stop myself from crying.
 
"It's not your fault, Khushi. I just... I trust anything people say." She said as her head slightly tilted to her side and she looked at me with emptiness in her eyes. "As your elder sister, I should be protecting you, but... you are always sacrificing yourself for me. I'm sorry for ruining your life. I'm sorry for behaving badly towards you. I'm sorry for not wanting to talk to you. I'm really sorry for everything I did and everything that happened because of me."
 
I shook my head at her and then hugged her. For a few moments, she stayed still and silent, but then... she broke and started crying while I held her tightly in my arms like she used to hold me when we were kids.
 
 
I sat on the backyard stairs, gazing at the stars in the night sky, while a cold breeze wrapped around me and pushed through my hair.
 
I sighed deeply as I looked down and finally allowed myself, for the first time, to think about everything that happened today.
 
Why didn't Akash Jijaji stop Jiji from leaving? Does he really not love her enough?... Would he have really left her if Arnav Ji had asked him to?... And no one said a single word to him. No one asked him to stop Jiji. No one... No one asked Arnav Ji any questions. No one even said anything to Mami Ji as she continued to insult and blame us for everything...
 
Bua Ji was right. They are all the same. They don't care about anyone or anything unless it benefits them or is about them. And Arnav Ji... I've got no words left for him.... As long as things were about me, I would have tolerated it. But how could he talk to Amma like that? How?... And none of his family members said a word as he misbehaved. How can they even tolerate it?... How can Jijaji tolerate it when he insults Mami Ji?... I agree she says a lot of wrong things, but... that doesn't mean you'll behave like that towards your elder.
 
I shook my head trying to clear my mind. I did the right thing. It was the right decision to leave him.

But... Jiji didn't deserve to be hurt like this.