Love Yourself Tour

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I woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit.

I caused a huge argument between Yoongi and I, and I'm not sure if this meant we were done. The way it ended suggested that. They wouldn't be home for months.

I couldn't move.

I lied in bed for a while, and I'm not really sure for how long. I didn't want to look at the time.

I sulked and cried.

And cried some more until I physically couldn't cry anymore.

I had no intentions of moving for the rest of the day.

That was until I heard my son cry through the baby monitor.

He doesn't cry much, thankfully, so when he does, it makes me really nervous.

My mother instincts kicked in immediately, and I got up, making my way In-su's bedroom.

I quickly rided myself of my sad emotions and put on a more calm and loving presence.

My son, he quickly picks up on emotions.

I'm not sure how.

Maybe because I'm so expressive with mine??

Or maybe because I was so stressed for the first half of my pregnancy.

Either way, I think it's a good trait to have to be empathetic.

But finally, I calmed myself down somewhat and got to his room.

I opened the door and swiftly made my way over to his crib.

I looked down at my beautiful boy and smiled.

He was crying and had his eyes closed. Once he noticed I was there, he opened his eyes. He immediately stopped crying and made "grabby hands" to me.

I giggled to myself because he was only crying because he wanted to be held.

I guess I spoiled him in that sense.

And I guess I was pretty late to get him out of bed.

When I picked him up, he happily babbled to me and clung onto my shirt.

That shocked me because up until then, he was mostly quiet except for when he giggled.

Babbling means he's going to start talking soon.

He's growing way too fast.

I playfully mocked his adorable babble and tickled his belly.

I then did my morning talk to him, which consisted of me telling him how much I loved him and how our day was going to go.

He seemed pretty content with our day activities, which only consisted of us going to work.

So I started to get him ready. I fed him, gave him a bath, and put on his clothes. I got ready some formula for later on and prepared his diaper bag. Finally, I was able to get ready for work. I put him in a swing and placed it in the bathroom with me while I showered.

I was in there a while, again not paying attention to the time.

My sad emotions all came flooding back to me, and I cried again.

I missed him.

I said some awful things to him that I wish I could take back.

I mean, what I did was wrong, I should have told him, but I didn't think he would yell at me. He has never raised his voice at me, not once over the last 8 years.

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