𝖊𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊

𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

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***

Wilson again greeted me for his 6 am jog. My body cried out to me, my lungs begged, my heart pleaded with me to not do it, not after yesterday.

But I couldn't. If I didn't, he would be suspicious. I would have to confess, the twins would be yelled at and would blame me. They would beat me, and I wouldn't be able to live.

I slowly pulled myself out of bed to once again change my flannels to a pair of joggers, before dragging myself down the stairs to see Wilson ready to run.

"Let's go."

As soon as we walked outside, it was pouring heavily like yesterday.

"You know what," Wilson walked nearer to the door, "let's not run today."

Oh thank the gods, thank that one deity.

"Instead, we'll run on the treadmill in the gym."

Never mind, I take back everything I've said.

I forced myself to follow him up to the third floor, down the hall to the gym. There were some treadmills to one side, with some bench presses next to it. In the back was a set of weights lined up neatly, with a bench next to it to sit down. On the other side, there seemed to be some pull downs, leg presses and other machines I didn't know.

I know we started off light, but it was too much for me. My body was still extremely weak from yesterday and from no sleep.

And then it dawned on me, I would have to run to school today. I swear at that moment, my lungs shattered at the thought.

My legs decided to give up halfway, and so I ended up sprawled over the treadmill, blood rushing to my head. I lifted a hand to my head to feel a huge bump.

"Oh my god, Emmaline, what happened?" Wilson pulled off his earbuds, shock and horror in his eyes, running over to me, pulling me up. "Are you hurt? Where?"

"My legs gave out." I ignored the urge to black out once again; this was beginning to become a serious problem. "My head hurts, there's a bump."

"Why didn't you tell me your legs were weak?" He chided me, as he pulled me on a bench, before getting a water bottle, handing it to me. "I wouldn't make you run."

I didn't bother answering, while drinking the water. Wilson was rubbing my back, which had a somewhat soothing effect. It was like everything inside of me, everything curled up had unwinded, and was comforted by the soothing movement.

"Do you feel like you can walk? Or should I help you?"

I was going to say no to the help, trust me I would. But my body was begging for the help. And I knew if I walked, I would've fallen down the stairs or fallen at school. Then, he would be called in.

"Can you help me?" My voice was so soft, so weak, I wanted to punch myself.

"Of course darling."

Darling

He said it so softly, so gently, so lovingly as if he loved me, as if he truly loved me, as if I mattered so much to him, and he truly cared for me. It was like those dreams I had when I was younger, and I wanted someone, a real person to wipe my tears, to reassure me they would care for me no matter what.

It stirred my heart. My heart, so deprived of love, of affection, pained at the word. All these years, my heart which I held behind a wall to protect it from the world, my heart which never stopped hoping, never stopped yearning was finally fulfilled at that one word.