Chaos In The Cosmos // Infinity War & Endgame

one

Josephine's pov

"I used to meditate...I thought that it might help with my memory, but after a while it just made me..."

"Angry?"

"...sad."

I hated that anger was the first thing to come to his mind. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't sit around and wallow about all the shitty things that have ever happened to me. But sometimes, on the darker nights, I wonder how different my life would have looked if I had parents. I often imagine the missing images of my past as beautiful hazy moments where life was good and calm. Because in times where I lack in remembrance, I make up for in imagination. But saying all of this out loud would defeat the purpose because it's exactly as I said...all in my head, all in my imagination. It isn't real. I know that. I guess by not saying anything about it, it keeps me hoping that it could be.

"I'm not looking for pity, trust me. That's the last thing I want." I say taking a seat on the rock next to him.

I went to look for Tony after he had practically stomped out of the ship. For obvious reasons, Quill tried to talk me out of it. And for even more obvious reasons, it didn't work.

When I saw him in the distance of the vast orange planet, it seemed like he was having trouble breathing. At first, I couldn't tell if it was the air quality on Titan, but then I looked back and everyone else seemed fine.

There was a look in his eye, something I could recognize. As I got closer, I realized Tony was having an anxiety attack.

He was too busy trying to steady his breathing to notice I was right in front of him. I guided him to sit on a rock nearby.

"Just breathe." I say delicately, with my hands on his shoulders.

I couldn't tell if it was me who was triggering his attack or if it was being on an entirely different planet.

"You're going to be ok." I awkwardly tried to assure him, but even I knew I wasn't good at this kind of thing.

"Just close your eyes and listen to me."

Tony looked at me as if I was crazy.

"I'm not going to kill you." I rolled my eyes.

After a minute he complied, and closed his eyes.

"Take a deep breath ok? In...and...out."

Tony repeats my actions.

"Let all of your thoughts go. Let your mind be completely empty."

He takes another deep breath.

"Allow yourself to feel the bad thoughts, but not for too long. They won't get you anywhere." I repeat the words Gamora used to tell me.

Another breath.

"And remember the world isn't always out to get you." I say in a whisper.

With that, Tony takes one last deep breath and opens his eyes.

"What are you some meditative app?" He remarks.

Ah, there's that snark.

Which brings us back to our original conversation.

"Sad?" He says as if it's so hard to believe.

"Yes. You know I am capable of human emotions right?" I arch my brow. To which Tony just rolls his eyes and scoffs.

"Yeah, well did you know you're also capable of being a smartass?"

"I think i'd be aware of my own hardships, thank you very much." I shake my head.