The Wedding Night...

Listening with the heart...

Dilan insisted on accompanying Ms. Kader to say goodbye to Gül. Baran gave them a ride, despite Dilan's protest. For him, she was always in danger. Just before they went to the airport, Kerem called Baran to let him know they lost Hikmet's trace. Baran had him followed after he got out of prison, but Dilan didn't see the man as a threat, after all, what could he have against the Karabey? However, the overprotective instincts of her husband were triggered by the news. After the airport, they took Ms. Kader to a relative of hers. She was going to spend the day with them. They made sure she was not needed at the house. Mr. Kudret would take Ms. Azade and Cihan to eat out. Mr. Hassan was running around with Derya. And Firat, well, they had not seen the man since yesterday.

On their ride back to the mansion, Dilan remembered the conversation she had with Baran the day before. "Dilan, I want you to know I got nothing against your family. It is important for me that you know that." She was trying to read his face. "You got nothing against them but you do with my dad?" He didn't respond. He was staring at their intertwined hands. Dilan did her best to be patient. "When you lose someone, and especially when you do it the way I Iost my mother, you go through different stages. You wouldn't know because thankfully nothing similar has ever happened to you... At first, there is confusion. Everything feels like a nightmare, a nightmare you wait to wake up from. You don't want to believe what is in front of you. Your loved one is gone, everyone is saying so, but you refuse to give credit to their words..." Dilan's eyes began to be filled with tears, while Baran looked to be in a trance like he was transported to that memory.

After some time, you realize that it is not a dream, and you will never wake up. It is a new reality, a reality that you were not ready to face, but life has forced into you. Then anger comes, it takes center stage. You want the people responsible for taking your loved one's life to pay for what they did. Not only that, if you let it, you want their families to suffer as well, at least as much as you are suffering at the moment..." As he talked about hate, Baran let go of Dilan's hands and placed them on his knees. It was as if he was letting that emotion wash over him and he didn't want her to come in contact with it. She grabbed his hand, and he tried to prevent but she insisted. Unless he let her in the darkness, she would not be able to turn on the light. She had to step into that world and find him, so they could both get out of it together. "For the longest time, I left hate to rule me. But as I grew older and watched Cihan go from a baby to a child, I concluded that I could not do that to him. He only had me and I could not leave him alone by letting myself be dragged by hatred, I finally came to terms with the situation..."

"Baran!" Dilan tried to reach him with her voice, but she could not. There was a wall between them in that moment. He continued. "When news came that your family was found and they told me, Mr. Seyit had a restaurant, his children and wife were with him and they were living modestly but happily, I felt cheated by life. Here I was, trying to be a father for my brother, while our real father was wasting away in a chair, unable to communicate with his children and be there for them. He, Baran Karabey, a true believer in justice, was unable to find it for his family. For a second there, I wanted revenge. Then I saw myself in Cihan, I saw his anger and his thirst for blood. That was a wake-up call. I knew I had to prevent it by all means, mostly for him and lastly for myself. But it was not easy Dilan, to interact with my mother's murderer was..." He then turned to look at her, finally. He was holding back tears and she felt for him. Listening to him talk about his mother's killer felt so distant from the Seyit she knew. It was like she was hearing him talking about someone else and not at all her father. The more he looked into her face, the more his gaze softened. He resumed. "But you helped me with that. My brother, my father, and I were healed because of your actions."

"Yes, but not completely." Now she was the one staring at their hands. Baran raised one of his hands to her chin and made her look at him. "You made me as whole as a man without a mother can be, Dilan." He was trying to console her with his words. "The fact is, I will never be able to have a normal father-in-law/son-in-law, relationship with your father Dilan. I care for him to the extent that I don't want anything to happen because I know it will affect you. But that's it. I can't go further than that, and I am really sorry for it. Perhaps, you may think with time. But it won't happen Dilan. I don't want you to have hope, I want you to come to terms with that and to try and understand me." The sound of a horn brought Dilan back. Baran's eyes were fixed on her. "Baran, the light." He got the truck moving but kept giving glances at her. "You are not here, Dilan. Is there something wrong?" She watched him drive, "No, not at all. Just..." "You were thinking about our conversation yesterday. Weren't you?" "How did you know?" It just came out of her mouth. 'Dilan!' She reprimanded herself. "Sorry, I was, but now I'm not. Have you heard about Firat?"