Kaulitz | Tom Kaulitz ✓

chapter 8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat on the wooden bench behind a large wooden tree, looking down at my trembling hands above my lap

I shut my eyes and let my tears fall, the tears that had been threatening to fall every day because of the pain

I heard a heavy footstep walking toward where I was sitting, someone sat beside me and I already knew who it was.

I opened my eyes and looked away immediately, raising my trembling hands as I wiped the tears from my cheeks

" Adeline," Tom says

four years of not hearing my name be called by his voice, it feels weird. I took a deep breath and finally faced him

our gaze met, and I could see the pure pain in his brown eyes that I used to call 'gorgeous' because of how I loved staring at them, to see the love he had for me

but now that I'm looking at it again, all I wanted to do is look away and never meet his gaze ever again

" i-im scared "

I said, my voice cracking in the end as tears streamed down his cheeks

" i-i don't want to make any mistakes again, Tom. I-i tried to move on, I really did. But it hurts because whenever I look at Derek, all that I've been longing for is your love " I continued

my voice beginning to shake as Tom looked down and cried silently.

I wanted to scream at him and tell him all the pain he caused me, i wanted to raise my hand and hit him over and over again, but that was enough for him to see how much he ruined me

" why... W- Why did you do it? " I asked.

Tom sniffled and looked at my trembling hands, he gently grabbed it and wrapped his hand around it

"I'm sorry that I hurt you, Adeline. I-i want to tell you the truth but- I know that you won't gonna believe anything I say... Im so s-sorry, my love " Tom cried and I could barely hear the words that came out of his mouth at the end

I noticed that he couldn't meet my eyes, so I took a deep breath and cupped his both cheeks

forcing him to look up as I met his red, puffy eyes. I used my thumb to wipe off the tears that stained his cheeks

" tell me " I said

"V-Vanya, she planned this all this time. S-she followed us in Bora Bora knowing that I'll be there, the night I walked out from our suite, I came out to clear my head off because it was never my intention to ever leave you that night... But she came, she put a sleeping pill in the bottle and took advantage of me " Tom's shaking voice explained

I could feel my heart drop in my stomach when hearing those words.

I opened my mouth to speak but there were no words that came out, Tom wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his tight embrace

"I'm sorry, i-i sorry, im sorry, im sorry. P-please Adeline, im so sorry for the pain I caused you " He continues

my heart was breaking into pieces I wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be apologizing and that it should've been me

Tom's POV

I searched for her, I searched the entire world just to find her. But I have no idea where she's been staying

all I've been praying every day is for Adeline to be safe wherever she is, that she is protected and no harm will ever occur to her, because I can't bear losing the love of my life, forever.

Knowing that I was the one who caused all of this pain

I never forgave myself because of what I did to her. Everyone told me to move on, or do something that would bring my happiness back, but how could I?

When Adeline was the only thing that brought happiness in my life, and now that she's gone. She took that happiness away with her, and I can't find her

days, weeks, and months passed and I stayed inside our apartment every single day.

I never left, except I had to take the food that Bill had been sending me.

I wrote five hundred letters for her, hoping that someday ill get her address and send those letters, i wrote every time I felt pain whenever I thought about her.

I stopped smoking for her knowing that she hated those cancer sticks

I wrote a bunch of songs about her but never really released them to the public because I wanted Adeline to hear them first

I didn't move the furniture around the apartment because Adeline was the one who designed our home

and every night when I go to sleep, I always hug the pillow she has. Because it's the only scent that is left that reminds me of her

whenever I dream about her, the beginning always starts with her smile. The smile that I always love to see comes from her, but dreams end like a nightmare

and the day I heard she got engaged to a man named Derek, it was the same day where all my hope vanished.

It was so painful that I barely managed to hold myself back because all I could remember that day was Bill screaming when he saw me lying on the floor, almost dying because of the mixed drugs and chemicals that entered my body

I know I sounded so crazy that I tried to kill myself when Adeline found her happiness with that man.

but what hurts me the most is that I've been hoping for a long time that she'll receive one of those letters i wrote for her, but she never received one

***********
THE WAIT IS OVER

HERE IS THE CHAOTER THAT EVERYONE AWAITS!!!!!

i know this chapter's quality is bad 😛, but I did tried my best hehe.

i hope some of you still liking this story so far, and I'll always be forever to those people who supported me with this journey!

Its been a long time 😌 and don't hunt me down

Anyways, enjoy 🍂