Death's Dance

Chapter 17: Between Us

When I finally got up the next day the sun was high in the sky and I had a pounding headache. What happened between my sneaking off to the dark, smelly hall and waking up midday was hazy, but I could distinctly remember the ominous warning that had played in my head on repeat.

You may trick once but never all three? What does that mean? Is that even what she meant to say?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that it took me a second to realize that I was the only one in my room. There was food on the table, but there was no note.

There has to be a reason I am the only one here.

I pick at the food and wait for someone, anyone to come. As time passes I begin to feel uneasy. I ring the bell, but no one comes.

My feet are freezing. Maybe dancing around in the glass house and staying outside for so long wasn't the best idea.

Time ticks by and what little fire was left in the hearth has all but died out. I drag the covers off my bed and use them as a cloak to keep warm; as the cold envelopes my room. I try ringing the bell again and still no one comes.

Where are they?! At this rate I might actually need medical attention.

My fingers felt the wall for the door to the passage.

"Yes!" I shout before coughing violently.

I slowly made my way down the stairs. Becoming more and more light-headed. When I reached the bottom of the stairs there was a hall. I could hear the sound of people talking in the distance and followed it until I came upon the kitchens.

One of the people talking sounded like Ximena and I didn't recognize the other person's voice. I couldn't quite follow their conversation; all I heard was "The Swan", "The Raven", "The Bear", "The Wolf", "The Dove", and "The Butterfly".

"Thana!" Ximena shouted when she saw me.

I fell forward into her. As my vision faded I looked around the kitchen; the other person was no where to be seen.

I woke up back in my room lying down with a fever. I had several visitors over the course of my medical confinement. Nesta came frequently; often reading me her studies. Neither Drazhan or Laurent came; apparently they are not allowed. Although Islwyn dropped off sweets and Kallistê slipped me letters.
Laurent wrote as he spoke: cool, perfectly calculated, and just a little flirty. No word was out of line. His real gift was the book Nesta would leave and pick up. It was a very old book written in a language I didn't understand.
Every other day Laurent would add new scribbles in the margins, and on the days I had the book I would write back. By the time I was better the book was nearly full of poems, short stories, and notes. They were mostly silly to raise my spirits, but some where not. Tucked in was a sad and lonely story of a soldier who didn't want to fight.

The day I was finally permitted to leave I tried to find Laurent and talk to him about the soldier who didn't want to fight, but he was nowhere to be found. Apparently he was busy with his father discussing—whatever it is princes and kings discuss.

So, I joined the ladies picking out flowers, fabrics, and other things like that. There were several extravagant dresses that came from a place they called 'The City'. Apparently things made by tailors in 'The City' are better than what we make here in 'The Old World'.
There was this feather dress Kallistê bought. It seemed to be made out of giant black wings. She looked like the woodland princess, from the children's story, in it.

I picked out a few things. Nothing much really. Kallistê and Nesta got entirely new wardrobes. Lyssa allowed Kallistê to buy her two new gowns. The clothes that Kallistê picked out were a lot different from the clothes that Lyssa normally wears.

Lilith only bought two new gowns: an all gold traditional gown and an emerald ballgown with gold embroidery.

"Since when does Lilith wear emerald," I say to myself.

"This will be the first time since Lilith's wedding that she will wear her husband's color," Lyssa said just loud enough for me to hear.

I didn't know that Lyssa was behind me and her sudden answer made me jump. Besides scaring me Lyssa's response just added more questions.

This whole color thing is still pretty new to me. Yeona gave me a little book with all the names, titles, and colors she could remember. Despite this I couldn't quite wrap my head around how the colors worked.

Evidently Lilith not wearing her husband's colors regularly is unusual.

"Lilith looks like a powerful Queen of Old in her emerald and gold. The colors suit her. Why does she not wear them more often?"

"It is a long story and I shouldn't be the one to tell it."

Just like that Lyssa turned away. She whispered something in Kallistê's ear before moving toward Nesta. Where she stood in disciplined attention just behind Nesta's shoulder.

It appears that Lilith isn't the only one keeping secrets.

"Did you find anything you liked," Laurent said startling me like Lyssa had.

"Yes, I ordered the Spring Rain dress and the Tides dress. I got Tides in Wylan red I hope that was alright."

I hand him the papers detailing the design and cost.

"Of course that is alright. Was that all you got. I see Kallistê has picked out an entirely new wardrobe. You know you don't have to worry about money anymore Thana."

"I got some shoes and other things to match. It's just that it doesn't feel right to use your family's money."

"Thana," Laurent takes my hands in his, "I understand that you don't feel right spending the money but you don't have clothes of your own. You're still wearing old pieces in Lisha colors. If I bought them for you as a gift would you feel better about buying what you like."

"I think I would."

"That settles it pick out the ones you like and choose whatever color you prefer. It is my gift to you."

I looked back and smiled.

I could see in his eyes the weight that was in Drazhan's and I knew was in mine. He hid it so well around others. Yet, with me I could see it. Cloaked by the joy he got out of making me smile.

I ended up getting more than I had planned on. Kallistê seeing that I was looking at more pieces insisted that I looked good in everything and put me down for everything the rest of them didn't already order.

The rest of the preparations were quite boring.
I was pulled around to look at flower arrangements, center pieces, ice sculptures, and just about everything else I knew nothing about.

When my opinion was asked I merely made up something nice to say.

Lilith excused us and took me out of view so that we could talk.

"You couldn't care less about these things could you."

When I first met Lilith I would have no idea what she meant. She's only a couple years older than me, but she is probably the best mother I've ever had.

"It's not that I don't think their pretty nor do I think that they are too frivolous. My only problem was that I was not taught these things. Everyone expected me to die. I was taught to read, write, dance, ride, hunt, and a number of other things, but I never planned parties or went to court."

"That was the first time you talked about before without crying."

"It still hurts. Like I'm all knotted up inside."
She didn't say anything more she just held me.