Chapter One - Daella

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It's been six days.

Six days since they left and I haven't heard a word.

I know I shouldn't expect it, I know they would be busy, I know it would take time to hear anything at all, and yet, I am angry I hadn't.

I had expected to be sad, heartbroken, concerned, fearful, but all I feel is angry. Angry that they had to leave, angry that I am stuck here without them, angry I feel so useless and powerless, angry that despite the fact that six nights and days have passed I don't know if they are alive or dead.

How long would it take for me to even find out if one of them had died? How long would it take for a rider or message to reach me here? Days? They could be long buried in the ground and I would have no idea. No, instead I would be walking the palace corridors, staring at the bookshelves, sitting in front of my fireplace with this bubbling burning anger inside of me growing and growing. Soon there won't be anything left, just this anger.

Is this how Aeris felt all the time? Did his fire magic burn inside of him constantly? I understand the desire to drink if that is the case, a way to escape, to numb the feeling until it is just a simmering smouldering pile of embers, manageable, easily ignored.

I however didn't have the luxury of drowning myself in liquor. So, I keep to myself, doing my best to hide the anger, the only one who knew any different was Quirin, but he could help me no more than I could help myself. With no answers to all my questions, only the constant message of time and patience, both of which would be my undoing.

There was too much time, too many hours in the day that seemed to drag and the night was even worse, a lonely darkness, all-consuming and never ending. And I had very little patience, it was best saved for when I was forced to be around others, at my meals where I would sit and smile at the other chosen, all of who seemed to accept their place here with few questions and little fuss. It only made me angrier.

Everything seemed to make me angrier.

A knock at my door makes me flinch, always prepared for the worst while gripping tightly onto hope, knowing it is the only thing keeping my sanity in place.

I stand, walking to the door and opening it. Quirin greets with his familiar smile and I step back, letting him in.

"How are we faring this morning?" He asks as I take my usual seat on the edge of the bed.

"The same as every other morning." I answer, closing my eyes as he nods in understanding.

He stands quietly while he uses his magic to assess my condition as he always did every morning and I wait, holding my breath, hoping that one of these mornings there would be something, anything, something different, a sign that things were changing, while also fearing it.

He sighs softly and I know that sigh, had heard it so many times before. I open my eyes as he steps back.

"I'm afraid there is no change." He says quietly before taking a seat on the chair close by.

"Of course not." I bite out.

"While there is no discernible change, that does not mean that there is no change at all, only I cannot sense it, like all magic, mine has its limits." He says gently and I squeeze my hands shut.

Another sigh. "I know you are struggling with your emotions." He says gently.

"Only one."

"It reminds me of when Aeris was young and coming into his magic, he would fall into wild hysterics and anger fuelled tantrums." He says and just hearing his name makes me wince.

A part of me craves his story, to hear about him, to learn about him, about how he had been as a child, to understand him more fully. But my anger, it wanted nothing to do with those stories. It didn't want to hear his name, either of their names because it only reminded me of the fact that neither of them were here. While I understood why they had to leave it makes no difference to my anger.

"One moment he would be fine, and then the next he would just snap, without warning, his mother, the late Queen, was beside herself with worry for him." He goes on.

"I don't need to hear stories Quirin, I need a solution, I need this to end, all of it." I snap, cutting him off.

Another patient sigh. "I know you do, I am doing all I can to help you and your situation, but it is no easy fix. The magic that is within you consists of three vastly different magical elements and I do not know how they will interact with each other. Not to mention you are human, not fae, the very notion of magic existing within you is unheard of. It would explain the way it is affecting you."

"And so I must wait and have patience, that is your only answer." I grind out, staring at the ground, not wanting to see the defeated expression on his face knowing he had no way of helping me.

I didn't blame him, didn't want to feel this anger towards his lack of help, he out of everyone here was the only one who was helping me.

"Unfortunately My lady, it is the only thing I can suggest. Magic has its own laws and exists in its own time. We cannot control it, can only learn about it and do our best to work with it." He says softly, wizened voice strained.

"If that is all, I should get on with my day." I say standing, signalling him that I was done with him.

He stands as well, walking to the door. I glance up at him and he looks like he is about to say something, a hint of something on the tip of his tongue, but instead he just gives me an encouraging nod, one he has given many times over and walks out the door, closing it behind him.

I stare at the closed door, the white paint and gold filigree staring back at me.

I know I had been rude to him, cutting him off, dismissing him like he worked for me but no matter what I did, I couldn't help myself. All of my thoughts turned dark, all of my replies were short and cold and I gave little thought to how they would be taken.

I had stopped caring about what people thought of me, stopped caring if I offended someone or hurt their feelings.

It felt like I had no control over it. My tongue had a mind of its own and it was connected straight to the anger within. My mind was no better, always sinking into the darkest of thoughts, struggling to see the good in anything.

I didn't know how much longer I could go on like this.

Would it be this way until they came back?

And if they did come back would they even want this version of me?

Would they change their minds like Demwyn had hoped they would when they find out who I really am?

The Reckoning - Book TwoOn viuen les histories. Descobreix ara