Children of Fire and Sun: The Rebellion (Updates Resume From July 2024)

Chapter Seventeen: Ryan (Nostras)

"Endure what you cannot change."
— Lady Leona VI of House Hedj

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Ryan was like a corpse; a languished sack of flesh and bones.

He moved, he talked, he worked. Yet was he living? No. His heart had stopped those weeks ago when his father had upturned the entire balance of the realm in a single stroke. He did not know how he was supposed to go back to the life he had known before. It seemed unfair somehow.

Even Kaia, who was never not seen speaking, wore silence like a shroud. She had his little sister in her arms and sat by the window of the nursery. The twins played with pebbles at a corner of the chamber whilst Philomena sat on the edge of a bed with a look of resignation. The cut on her lip that Ayan had given upon her was still raw and glistened in the day's light. Save for the babbling babe in Kaia’s arms, joy seemed to have been sucked out of their lives.

"Did you send a dove to Domhnall, Ryan?" Kaia asked. "You did not, now did you? I never saw you writing anything." There was a hint of accusation in her voice.

I do not have the will to, sweet Kaia. Ryan sighed and said, "I will. Although I do not see how the princess is to rescue us from this predicament. Father has sealed our fates with his actions."

Kaia clenched her jaw. "That means we languish in this chamber till something happens. We cannot give up without a fight!"

"Perhaps there would not be—" Ryan began, but closed his mouth, seeing Kaia glare.

She interjected. "There would not be what? Retaliation? Of course there will be, Ryan. Noblemen will not let such a threat to their interest sit on the throne for a long time."

"Kaia speaks the truth." Philomena played with the folds in her dress. The fabric was only black, for the queen consort had already accepted that there would be much to mourn. "What Ayan did this time…I do not think he or we will escape from this unscathed."

Her shoulders slumped in resignation. The shimmering grief in her eyes was too much for both Kaia and Ryan. They swirled in strokes of cerulean and grey, storm-ridden skies that had forgotten sunshine. Where was the curious glint that Ryan remembered from their childhood? It was long lost, which in that moment seemed like it would never return.

"Ayan was not always like this," Philomena mused, her voice so choked with suppressed tears it was hardly audible. "When he was just a prince like Remus, when he was just my cousin, he was so different. Why did he change? I do not recognise this man anymore. I do not."

Love, mother blinded you, and it made a fool out of you. These words were on the edge of Ryan's tongue. There was something in the sympathetic tone of his mother that made him angry. How was he supposed to feel any semblance of empathy or affinity for the man whose preferred pastime was to beat his young sons and his wife?

It did not matter what the reason was. The inkwell had gone missing? Take out his anger on Remus. Young Ryan runs into the palace with a skinned knee? Hit him so hard that it leaves scars across his body. And his greatest crime? Ayan forced himself repeatedly upon his wife, the wife who refused to part from his side despite his depravities, whenever he felt his carnal urges needed fulfilling. It did not matter that he had two grown sons who themselves were old enough to sire children of their own.

"He is a monster," Ryan's came out in a low growl, his fists clenched at his sides. "He was always a monster, mother. We have been just too blind to see it."

His rage however deflated in the next moment as he saw Alira looking at him with widened eyes, and the silent tears streaming down his mother's cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak, to offer some comfort, but closed it midway. He was bereft of words. Holy hell, he felt bereft of the sense that he was still alive! Ryan knew not how he was supposed to be of any use to another person in this state of mind.

Kaia cast him a disapproving glance, mouthing that it was rash of him to speak to his mother like that when was already so burdened with her emotions. Ryan sighed and hung his head low, as if he still were a child who had committed some mischief. He wished for Kaia to put down his baby sister upon the crib and come to him. He wished to take in her scent, to kiss her till they were both breathless. Something, anything, to take his mind off of this numbness that his life had become.

Their attentions were averted as they heard the unmistakable thump of footsteps. Kaia turned around. The twins stood up while Philomena remained sitting, lost in her thoughts. Ryan looked towards the threshold of the nursery to find Sir Nasir standing there. The commander of the royal guards, he donned the silver armour that befitted his station as a knight of such high status embellished with the Desher dragon, the house to which he had sworn his eternal fealty.

Nasir bowed, the pink of his scalp glistening with sweat. The years had caused much of his hair to fall off. "Your Highness, your Grace. I seek an audience to speak on a matter of great import."

"Speak freely with us, Sir Nasir," Ryan said, seeing that his mother made no move to acknowledge the newcomer. "We are ready to listen."

"Is…is it a good time, my prince?" Nasir asked, sparing a glance at the tear-streaked face of his queen. "If it is not, perhaps we can have this conversation at a later, more opportune moment."

Ryan shook his head. "No, Sir Nasir. It is not at all an inconvenient time. Tell us what you wish to speak of." Besides, I need to focus on something other than these thoughts that tells me we are doomed. He thought to himself. 

The knight cleared his throat. All hesitance in his countenance was gone, replaced by the stoicism that was second nature to his trade. His blue-grey eyes, though misty with age, shone with a determined light. His presence alone made Ryan breathe easy.

"We all realise that these are troubling times in the light of recent events," Nasir said. "As sworn protector of this family, it is my duty to shield all of you from harm with my last breath. Keeping such thoughts in mind, my prince, I think you, her highness, Lady Kaia and the children must move to the Northern Tower. It will be safer."

"The Northern Tower?" Ryan asked. The said Tower was not a tower, but a fortress far north of the realm, at a precipice over the Great Black Sea. "Do you think it would come to that, Sir Nasir?" His heart thudded in his chest. This fortress was not to be used for frivolous purposes but only in times of grave need, as proposed by its formidable structure and difficult to breach location.

Nasir nodded grimly. "I think it will be better this way. It is better to be safe than regret later."

"Sir Nasir," Kaia interjected within the conversation, holding the infant princess close to her chest. Her face was pallid, like a day-old cadaver. "Do you…do you think there will be…?" She could not bring herself to say the word.

"We expect some sort of skirmish, Lady Kaia," Nasir replied in a measured tone. "How severe its implications will be is now up for the gods to decide."

Ryan looked away. It would be bad. That much he had realised in the sickening moment when Laurent Eni parted with his head. Nasir’s words merely added to that conviction. The aged knight was not a man whose words could be taken lightly. Nay, if he was worried about their safety, then the situation was more dire than what any of them had imagined.

"When do you suggest we leave?" Ryan asked.

"As soon as possible. I would prefer if you would start your journey from tonight itself." There was a flicker of something more than duty in Nasir’s eyes when he gazed at Ryan. "Be prepared, my prince. I will be the one to escort you to the borders. From then onwards, our most loyal men will accompany you on your journey."

Ryan shared a glance with Kaia, who shook her head. He gazed at his limp mother and the twins, who were once more lost in their play. He looked at last at his young sister, her innocent eyes aglow with the joy of infancy, ignorant of suffering in this world. At that moment, he knew he had to do this, to take them somewhere safe. It was something that Remus would have done had he been here.

"We will be prepared." Ryan said with a curt nod.

And they had to be, for better or for the worst.

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