The Unwanted Soldier

Chapter 4

Somebody grabbed my arms and pulled me back. Cursing, talking and groaning. What is going on? I wasn't unconscious. I knew how that felt. This was different. As my sight cleared, I stood with my back against the hall wall. Gaz leaned over the Scot, who was sitting on the ground, groaning. Ghost stood in front of me and looked me straight in the eyes as I looked up to him.

This was the first time I had lost control in a Unit after the incident. Nobody in the dozens of Units was stupid enough to do that in training. But the Scot, Soap, wasn't dead. He's complaining - but he is alive. "So that's the dropouts Price told me about. "Ghost said. "You with us again? "He asked firmly as if he had told me about the current weather. I nodded, my eyes lowering to the point where I was looking at Soap.

"What did I do? "I asked calmly. I didn't question that he knew from Price about my dropouts in such situations. Looking back up to Ghost, he answered me. "You broke his nose with your elbow. Gaz already redirected it. That's why he's cursing so much. "I narrowed my eyebrows. "You knew that this would happen. Why did you risk it? "I was annoyed. "Because this way, he stops flirting with you. At least, I think so. But if you like his flirting-"I fastly interrupted him. "No, it's okay. "

"Johnny, are you okay? "Ghost turned around and looked at Soap. Johnny, that must be his real name. "Yes, LT. "He groaned without looking back. ‚LT '. Ghost is the Lieutenant; that was my only explanation. Shit. "See? You didn't kill him. "The masked man turned to me again. I nodded. "So- back to training. Again, 30 laps."

I functioned in some sort of auto-pilot for the rest of the training. I did as told. Without question, without discussion. The sparring got by without any words, and as I was finished, I didn't even look back and went back to my room, where I threw up the second I kneeled over the toilet.

In my head, I nearly killed someone.

In my head, the story repeated itself once again.

My body was shaking as I leaned back, using the flushing. I nearly messed it all up again. Breaking my promise to Hailey is one thing I couldn't do. No matter how hard it would get. I felt like crying. Instead, I got up, brushed my teeth and went to bed afterwards.

I got into my training clothes the next day as soon as I woke up. I felt better than the night before and knew I needed to prove myself to stay in this Unit. I looked at the picture on the nightstand as I put on my shirt. Hailey and I were laughing arm in arm about nonsense - as always. We were never backing down under any circumstances. I got this, Hailey, for you and me.

I remembered the way to the training hall and went straight to it. It was around 4 am, and I assumed that no one was awake due to this hour. In my hand were my phone and headphones. Still, I felt a little sore, but it should be okay with some training and a breakfast afterwards. I put in my headphones and my phone on the ground next to the wall. Then I started to stretch.

First, my arms and legs, then my back. It cleared my mind to work with my body and prepare myself for the training at my own pace. The music through the headphones was calm and light. After 20 minutes, I got up and grabbed some of the weights. As I bound them around my waist, I positioned myself under the bar and grabbed it with my hands. I was glad about my height at that moment because I couldn't imagine jumping up to reach it. With a steady breath out, I pulled myself up.

It was heavy. But not unbearable. So, when I slowly let down, I pulled myself up again.Again.And again.And again.

My muscles burned, and the sweat on my hands made it hard to grab the bar. But I didn't stop - one pushup after another, now to loud music blasting through my ears. As I breathed heavily out and grabbed the bar as hard as possible so that the white from my knuckles was to be seen, I slipped.I knew it wasn't far to the ground, especially not with the weights bound to my waist. A hard fall to the ground, that's it. But that didn't happen.