𝑯𝒆𝒓'𝒔 | Renee Rapp Fanfiction

T H I R T Y - N I N E

No smut warning this time, sorry to my smut lovers.

Our lake trip had been amazing, and we had made so many unforgettable memories. Now, however, on our last night, I sat on the couch getting more and more antsy by the minute.

Something had been off with Renee for the last few hours - you could feel it in the air. She was quiet, and Renee is never quiet. She had said she was going to shower over an hour ago, and as Sabrina and I sat on the couch and time passed, I grew more and more worried about her. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up off the couch and made my way upstairs, swinging the door to the bathroom wide open to find Renee still soaking wet from her shower, wrapped up in a towel and crying on the bathroom floor.

"Nae." I said quietly, making my way to her side.

"No." She shook her head, pulling her face out of her hands. "You can't see me like this Parker, you can't."

"What?" I questioned, as I seated myself next to her on the wet floor. "Why?"

"I don't want you to see me cry." She shook her head. "I don't want you to see me weak."

"Well it's too late." I chuckled, leaning into her, not caring how wet she still was from her shower. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm not-" She sniffled. "I can't-" Another pause. "Your parents were right, Sparky." She wrapped her arms around me, and I immediately felt her shaking. "I'm not okay. I try not to think of my dad, I've been trying for weeks, but it doesn't work. He's all I can think about."

I took a deep breath. I had known for a while that this was coming, but I didn't know when. "Nae, I'm sorry." I shook my head. "I don't really know what to say, I'm just really really sorry." I paused. "Do you miss him?"

"No, never." She shook her head, still sobbing. "But I'm so scared, Sparky, I'm so scared." She let out.

"Why?" I questioned, rubbing her back. "What are you scared of?"

"What if I'm as bad of a parent as he was?" She cried. "What if I'm as bad of a mother to our kids as my dad was a father to me?"

My breath hitched a little. Renee and I had never talked about the idea of having a kid. She usually wasn't vulnerable enough to look that far into her future, but I was so excited at the idea of growing up with her and having kids one day.

"Renee Mary Jane Rapp," I started, "you're going to be the best mother this world has ever seen."

"You don't know that." She sniffled. "There's no way for you to know that."

"Yes." I nodded. "There is."

"How?" She mumbled, rolling her eyes at me.

"Because." I said. "You know how bad you were hurt by your dad, Nae, you know you could never do that to another human. Plus you have been taking care of me for as long as I can remember. And your parents, they weren't really your parents and you know it. Your parents are my mom and dad, that's how it's always been and it always will be that way. You're gonna be a great mother, Nae, I know you are."

"You really think so?" She smiled through her tears.

"I know so, Nae." I chuckled. "Or should I say mommy?"

"Shut up." She chuckled, elbowing me in the side. "I'm sorry." She said softly.

"Sorry for what?" I questioned.

"It's not supposed to be this way, you're not supposed to be the one taking care of me." She shook her head. "I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you."

"Renee." I groaned, rolling my eyes. "You don't have to be strong for me all the time. It isn't healthy."

"I have to, Sparky." She said with a sniffle. "I promised your brother-"