[COMPLETED] That Autumn | Wonwoo (short-story)

一

In that instant, as the words poured out, I made no effort to intervene, nor did I block out the sound.

"Why are you acting this way?

"Truly disappointing... I never anticipated this."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Ah, just let her be. If that's what she wants."

No, that's not what I yearn for... I...

I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing to inhale deeply and exhale slowly, yet it felt agonizingly painful, tears welling up, causing my body to quiver, my hands icy numb.

I don't know what else should I do...

I'm destroying my day again. But day after day, nothing changes. I'm all alone. No one knows me.

At that moment, I flee. The sun might soon set, the day growing late, my shadow becoming clearer and following me wherever I go. A shadow so dark, relentlessly chasing me, like the fear that always resides within me. It feels impossible to escape it.

I ran from the school building, kept running without caring about the direction. My tears continued to flow endlessly, worsening my vision. The cold air made my nose slightly numb, and my body shivered from the chill of this autumn air, my jacket insufficient to ward off the cold. Perhaps it's just my feeling, it seems like someone has been calling me, but who would call my name? Without paying attention, I kept running, slowly noticing the path I tread becoming increasingly covered with fallen leaves, and it seemed like everything around me became eerily quiet, and I felt a bit weary. I stopped my steps momentarily to catch my breath.

I began to try looking around me. I saw the surroundings were somewhat foggy, and the path was being illuminated by garden lights. I didn't know where I was, my indifference turning into an overwhelming sense of fear. Cold sweat started trickling down my forehead, and the palms of my hands were clammy with sweat, my fingers growing numb again. I found myself surrounded by numerous tall trees, and there seemed to be a fence bordering it with a river beyond. The atmosphere felt unfamiliar. It's so strange, I don't know what to do or where to go. I became weak, and before I knew it, my knees were on the ground supporting my helpless body. I closed my eyes and bowed my head again. I want to go home... please, anyone, save me...

"Sehee..."

Call my name, save me...

"Sehee, hey..."

His voice was so gentle, I hoped the call was genuine.

"Are you okay?"

Summoning my courage, I opened my eyes and raised my face to see the person kneeling in front of me. He was not unfamiliar, yet his name eluded me, and I felt a pang of guilt. Despite his call, fear still gripped me. Was there another purpose? Or was he truly concerned about me? Tears continued to stream down my cheeks, and I was certain my appearance was disheveled. The brisk wind from my earlier run must have tousled my hair, but I was too apathetic to tidy it up.

"Sehee, why do you keep running? I've been chasing you for a while now. You left your bag in the classroom," the man pointed out my dark blue backpack with a teddy bear-shaped keychain dangling from it, "is this yours?" he inquired once more. I was somewhat surprised to see him holding my bag. With trembling hands, I accepted the bag from him and cradled it in my lap.

"Sorry... I'm so foolish..." I muttered with a hoarse voice. I gazed blankly downwards, avoiding the man's gaze. But it seemed like he was smiling instead.

"No, not at all. It's a common thing, and I understand, so I brought it for you," he reassured kindly.

"No, I am stupid... I've burdened others unnecessarily. I shouldn't have been like that, I apologize..."

Saying it makes me want to cry even more.

"Sehee, I'll accompany you home. I'm worried about your eyesight."

His words left me stunned, and I immediately looked at him with a hint of surprise.

"H-how did you know...?"

He smiled again, "Where I learned it from isn't important. What matters is getting you home safely," he offered, rising to his feet and extending his right hand to assist me. Reluctant to rely on him, I attempted to stand on my own, using my hands to support myself. Once on my feet, I straightened my skirt, brushed off any clinging leaves, and slung my bag over my shoulder. Once again, guilt washed over me; my bag must have been a burden for him because of how heavy it was. As he walked, I followed alongside him, matching his pace.

"Sorry, but I forgot your name." I muttered my words with embarrassment.

"My name is Wonwoo."

"Sorry..."

"It doesn't matter to me. Oh, may I ask, what happened to your eyes?"

I wondered how he could have known. I've never shared this with anyone, as I'm certain nobody would care to listen or even believe me. I've always been alone in my life, accompanied only by loneliness and fear. Speaking up feels futile; there's no one to hear. I paused for a moment pondering what to say, but it all dissolved into silence, with only the sound of our footsteps and the rustle of leaves beneath us filling the air.

"What kind of world do you see now?" he asked me again.

My world...? What does he want to know from my emptiness?

"I see... very little. On the left, darkness. On the right... very blurred. The world I see... is just empty," I answered as best I could. My breath still slightly labored from earlier tears. The streets I see now are so dark. Even with the lights on along the way, I despise the night because to me, it feels like staring into a room so dark with dim lights.

Maybe darkness will always linger with me. But tonight, it feels darker than ever. I'm afraid of stumbling or bumping into something. I notice Wonwoo's steps are slow, and I want to thank him for that because it allows me to move at a comfortable pace. Yet, I feel embarrassed. What if he thinks I'm strange if I express my gratitude to him?

"Really? The trees in that park earlier were so breathtaking. It's my favorite place. Especially at sunset, the whole area is bathed in shades of orange. Despite the cold, witnessing that sight warms my heart," he elaborated.

I joined him in envisioning the scenery as he described it.

"I wish you could see it too. I don't want you to keep feeling down," he continued.

"W-why are you... so kind? No one has ever talked to me like this before. I don't deserve it," I replied, feeling overwhelmed.

Wonwoo stopped in his tracks and looked at me, "I'm not those people. I am my own person. I determine how I behave regardless," he said firmly. "I just want you to know that you're not alone. I'll always be here if you feel lonely and need someone. I don't want to see you continue to be sad."

It feels... like I want to cry in front of him. His words, they mean so much to me. They warm my heart, make me feel things I've never felt before. Unexpectedly, those are the words I've been longing to hear. Before I know it, tears stream down my face again. But this time, I feel a hint of happiness.

"I keep hearing your name, I keep seeing you. I wish I could see you smile, even just once," Wonwoo smiled at me. "Sehee, you're not alone," he gently wiped the tears falling down my cheeks.