[COMPLETED] That Autumn | Wonwoo (short-story)

五

All beginnings must come to an end. That's life. I tread my steps in this world, stumbling several times, alone, despite many people around me, yet none wishing to know me.

Before, nobody ever wanted to listen to my story. They didn't care, too quick to label me as foolish, slow, and heartless.

If that autumn hadn't come into my life, I wouldn't be able to make it here.

He offered me his hand, helping me to rise again. I wanted to ask why he accepted me as I am even though I'm not someone special, someone meaningful in the eyes of others. But he's so kind. 

No, the world is so kind. 

The world has given me someone like him, who has taught me so much, who has helped me see beautiful things I never noticed before.

I don't know how long I spent alone. But now, my world isn't as dark as it used to be. I gather the courage to step into a world much more beautiful, filled with colors.

I really want to tell him what I'm seeing right now. I try my best to look around me and observe every detail.

The new autumn season has arrived once again. I've lost count of how many times the seasons have changed and kept leading me to the autumn that I love so much, where everything emits warm colors. Just like back then, the world brings me warmth through him.

I am currently at his favorite city park. There have been some changes. Although not many, but the atmosphere is so different. This park is much busier than before. I don't know how long it's been since I last visited this place. If I come back here, all those memories will come back to me. I'm afraid I'll cry. But I've promised myself that I won't cry in sadness anymore.

I chose to take a seat on the park bench, where we last sat together for the final time. Songju City isn't as bustling as Seoul. That's one aspect I appreciate. It's not a large city, which makes me feel intimately familiar with it. I lean back, just to rest for a moment.

Then, I remembered something and opened my bag to retrieve my diary. In the last page, I tucked away a letter. I received it from the doctor who treated Wonwoo. Since then, I had never opened the letter. Its envelope remained securely sealed, perhaps with a few creases from being pressed inside my book.

I slowly broke the seal of the letter, ensuring the paper inside remained intact. I open the folded paper carefully.

.......

To. Sehee

How are you?

It might feel very strange for me to ask this. But I hope you're doing okay, so I can feel at ease.

Sehee...

I deeply miss calling your name. It's a name that never leaves my mind. Your face lingers in my thoughts, no matter the task at hand. It's as if you're a constant presence, a miracle in my life. Despite the unending ache I carry, being with you makes me feel alive. You give me hope to persevere through it all. My prayers and hopes are always for this pain to dissipate.

Sehee, do you remember that autumn?

The day I dared to reach out to you. The day I vowed to chase away your sadness. I want you to know, you're incredibly sweet when you smile. I miss your smile. I yearn to see it again. Is that possible?

I wish to continue bringing joy to your life. I long to unveil the beauty of this world to you. I desire to keep sharing with you what I see, walking by your side while holding your hand, admiring the city views, sitting in cafes ordering our favorite coffee, and indulging in warm apple pie. I want to keep doing it.

But I can't.

I deeply regret it. I was born with an imperfect condition. The heart disease I've suffered from since birth has made me incredibly weak. I truly, deeply regret it, and I hate myself for it. I feel... utterly worthless. I loathe this life and question my existence.

But you make me feel so valued.

With you, I truly feel alive. You seem to dispel my pain. The days spent with you grant me purpose and hope in my life, and with you, my heart finds its rhythm. I continually endeavor to gradually embrace myself and my shortcomings.

Sehee...

Through this letter, I want to express my gratitude because you've made my life more meaningful. And also, through this letter, I bid you my farewell.

I truly regret not being able to fulfill my words to continue making you happy; instead, I've only brought you sadness and pain.

I love you endlessly, Sehee.

Forever, I will always cherish you.

I will never leave you. Someday, perhaps, you'll find someone far more perfect than me. What I want is for your happiness always. Even if it's not with me, I beg you, please keep smiling.

With time, I believe the wounds will fade.

Everything will change. The change won't happen to me, but it will surely happen in your life.

Keep looking forward, embrace the world with a smile. This time, with a world more vibrant than before, isn't it so?

That's all I can leave for you, along with this letter.

I love you, forever.

From. Wonwoo

.......

My heart feels so heavy. Unbeknownst to me, tears have flooded my eyes. I clutch the letter tightly, holding it close to my chest. How beautiful it would be if I could give it one last hug, but now it's just a wishful thinking.

But I promised him, I will grant his request. I will transform into a better Sehee, one who will continue to smile with happiness.

I remember a quote from a book I once read, that autumn is the second spring, where leaves are as beautiful as flowers, and even in the cold, my heart is filled with warmth.

"Wonwoo, do you see it too?" I ask, as if Wonwoo is standing beside me. "I am seeing the world through your eyes. So, is this what you've been seeing all along? Your world is so beautiful, Wonwoo..." My voice trembles slightly. Tears fall down my cheeks. But this time, these tears are tears of joy.

"Wonwoo... thank you so much..." I cry.

That autumn season became a deeply cherished memory. I wipe away my tears with my hand and prepare to head back home. I try my best to take in every detail of the scenery in this park once more.

In autumn, when the leaves fall, I fall in love with him again. I spent beautiful times with him.

All started in that autumn.

__the end.